the light shines in

2012-02-02T00:39:00.002-06:00

i miss you but i don't wanna let you know or text you because after all that has happened, it's a sign of weakness. i am learning to walk away from you. i wished it was much easier than this. and clearly, you don't miss me the way like i do with you.

2011-12-23T01:07:00.003-06:00

my last post till the end of the year.. i think. oh my.. only 2 hours to go till the end of work for the year. how exciting. finding it real hard to contain my excitement now :) 14 hours till airport time for Taiwan. aaaahhh cant believe it's almost here. feels as though it's been forever waiting for this day to arrive. i'm pretty sure i wont be blogging while in Taiwan but i'll def still be tweeting :) 140 characters.. i can do. heh. besides, i am an official tweet addict! there.. i said it.

once work is out today, imma rush home and pack :) so terribly excited. feeling like a little kid who gets all happy in a candy shop. when i am actually excited to pack, that aint the norm at all. everyone knows how much i hate packing but this time it's different. i have concluded that my weirdness is due to the polluted singapore air and deprivation of traveling. and of course, i gotta upload pictures from my camera of all the happenings that has been going on in my life. but i shall leave uploading them onto fb till i get back. hopefully packing wouldnt take too long since i would like to go to bed early and catch up on some sleep. gotta be up early to get to the airport too.

i just had a verbal diarrhoea.. too many thoughts going through my brain at once but nonetheless, you get my message. OVERLY EXCITED!!!

anyhow, i hope everyone has a good christmas celebration with their loved ones and an awesome 2012 ahead of them. see you in the new year! xoxo

2011-12-21T21:52:00.002-06:00

It's officially 1.5 days of work and I am done for the year. Sorry but i can't help not counting down. I have been majorly deprived of a holiday or simply being sick and tired of work that i gotta jet off. I have been sleep deprived a lot this past couple of days that my friend says I am gonna end up sleeping more than anything on my Taiwan vacay (you know that is so not true! shopping and eating will be my life there and I'm all prepared to come home a fatty). Anyhow, this sleep deprivation ain't because of anything bad but mainly due to the late nights and dinners with my lovely friends. It's to the point that mama is complaining that I am out too much. But hey, i would not exchange anything for spending quality with friends. I'd rather risk going to work looking like a zombie and resort to complaining incessantly on my blog and twitter on how tired i am :) At the end of the day, I'll still survive.

And so, my legs are kinda aching a tad from walking too much ystd. I always get a 'workout' in while i'm out with a certain friend who claims i am 'lian' -.- why am i still friends with him is beyond my comprehension. But i guess in someway i gotta thank him for helping me get a 'workout' in while doing something i love- christmas shopping. To think of it, my form of workout has gone from crazy 10 practices a week of high vloume swimming training to shopping-walking. Good grief. Haha. And so, the friend did all of the shopping while i contributed to gift ideas. Couldn't imagining spending MORE money. Gotta be saving up whatever i can for Taiwan.

I could possibly go on and on recapping on my meet ups with friends but i shall spare any reader of the pain of listening to me rant about my life even though reading my blog is the point on reading what i write. regardless, hope everyone is having a great day!

last dinner meet up tonight before leaving for Taiwan. hopefully the rest of the day goes by fast xoxo

2011-12-19T23:13:00.002-06:00

and... i have a reader!!! haha. thanks b for leaving a note on my tagboard :) and i will be acknowledging all my readers just as long as they leave a tag.

My tuesday has been amazing thus far.. apart from the fact that i was a tad late (10mins) for work because i couldnt pick out my work outfit. I've been receiving texts from different people all morning. feeling so loved. yay! probably sound like a major loser right now but who cares. haha. work has been going great.. got a few stuff on hand to work on to keep me busy and i am loving it. you know, i'm pretty sure people think i am crazy because i love having work to do and i complain when i have nothing. for most, they would beg to have my life and not do anything but it's just different for me. i think this has to do with my years spent in swimming where we consistently challenge ourselves. hence, the need for a challenge everyday is what i want.

enough of work.. on a lighter note, i have reached the final countdown. woohoo! only 3.5 more days of work for the rest of the year. AMAZINGGGGG!! i'm being so self contradictory right now.. so much for saying i love having work but now i'm counting down to no work days. let me get this straight.. i only love having work when I'M AT WORK.. other than that, i'd rather not be at work but lazing around at home or wherever. regardless.. it's countdown time to Taiwan too! 4 days :) and of course with the countdown to Taiwan comes countdown for many others!

5 days to Christmas
9 days to 23rd birthday
12 days to 2012

for today, i am looking forward to the end of work (4hours to go) where i will be meeting my favorite boys for dinner. i cannot wait! my 3 favorite boys who are always there to give me my reality check. what would i do without them :)

so to all my readers, or my one reader, have a fantastic tuesday! xoxo

9 days till Christmas

2011-12-16T00:26:00.003-06:00

Oh dear.. seniors are suffering from seniorities while i'm suffering from christmasrities.. okay i totally made up that word. but i cant help feeling all christmasy and in such a vacay mood. it's clearly affecting my productivity levels at work. this is a major problem. switching in between watching random youtube video clips (never had this habit until i got to know a certain person), Gossip Girl, Glee , New Girl and whatever videos/ movies i lay my hands on, anything but work. However, i should be thankful that the one and only thing i have to do for work before i leave for my 9 day vacay in Taiwan is one awfully long proposal and i have the entire of next week and the remaining of today to work on it. this is procrastination in work right now and clearly i am blaming it on the festive mood.

Let's see my plans for the next couple of days..
Sat- Dinner with my love
Sun- Dinner/ Movie (Mission Impossible)/ Christmas gift exchange with my dearest friends
Sometime towards the end of the week- Dinner with my friend who's coming to visit from Philippines and pretty sure another dinner date somewhere with 2 of my closest guy buddies and their significant other halves. i'm no stranger to being the third wheel. it's okay.

On a very random note, i shall share with my readers (not sure if i even have any.. haha) of my attempt on being an over achiever which failed miserably. So all day yesterday, i told myself i wanna get some workout in and decided on turning up for Friday morning practice (afternoon practice was a no-no 1. it's always a tough workout and i am in NO shape to survive that 2. i always feel like death after work 3. friday morning is recovery) but all that brilliant plan came crumbling down the moment i crawled into bed. waking up at 530am was an immediate turn off even though that had seemed like a feasible plan at 2pm. hence, the plan was aborted IMMEDIATELY. my failed attempt in working out.

I know people say new year resolutions never work but i am adamant on making this work. I am gonna sign up for yoga classes when i return from my vacay and start working out! if yoga doesnt work out, then at least some form of physical activity! this shall be the top of my new year's resolution. for now, all i should be focusing on is getting this proposal outta the way!

However, not before i pay youtube a visit to listen to the awesome soundtrack of love actually! xoxo

2011-12-14T20:54:00.003-06:00

christmas holiday season is definitely around us with only 10 days till christmas. this is always one season to feel the spirit of love and gift giving. an entirely valid reason to go shopping much to the joy of the ladies and a reason for men to go shopping without feeling 'gay' about it. the usual lazy me would never specially make a trip down to town after work just to do some shopping but i did yesterday, together with a wonderful friend. this is what the holiday season can make you do and i'm not complaining :) all that walking around definitely gives me an opportunity to get some workout in since my only routine these days are just sitting in front of the computer at work with the occasion runs to the bathroom and getting food. so much for being the crazy swimmer athlete who used to work out 10x a week. this life is clearly behind me.

i am 9 days away from my vacation in Taiwan with my mom, bro and sis (dad has to stay home to work and he doesnt like traveling.. sadly). it's our virgin visit to Taiwan and have heard so much about this wonderful country. Food and shopping haven, Taiwanese super star overload (i sure am hoping i'll get to bump into one just to make my trip feel complete), beautiful sight seeing locations. And of course, i'll be making use of the chance to practise and brush up on my almost perfect chinese. haha. Needless to say, the family has been doing tons of research on places to visit, food to eat etc. We even bought a Taiwan guidebook.. in English of course and was given a chinese version which actually has way more information by my colleague. i am so terribly excited to get outta Singapore, get away from this boring routine/ life, take my mind away from all the drama that i have had to face in the past couple of months. basically, an escape and for me to start anew for 2012 since i only return on 1st Jan.

i think i've said my piece for today.. have a great Thursday everyone! xoxo

2011-12-08T01:25:00.002-06:00

it's funny looking at what i posted the last time and i could simply repost it again. totally applicable. otherwise, story of my life. it's finally december! birthday month! i should be pretty happy about it but for some reason, all i can think about is, wanting this year to end and start anew in 2012. it has been a very interesting year for me. from landing myself a real job (welcome to the working world) to ending a chapter of my life. or that's what i choose to believe for now. 2011 has been filled with lots of ups and downs.. well mostly downs actually. sadly.

i probably seem like the most pessimistic person right now but hey.. everyone is entitled to moments like that and that's exactly what i am. but honestly, i cant think of more happy thoughts than sad stuff that has happened this year. however, in spite of all that crap, it can only get better from here! (being optimistic!) moreover, it's the year of the dragon in 2012! my year! and i choose to believe that good things are going to happen to me in 2012! next year this time, i wanna look back and say this year has been amazing. so 23 more days till the new year.. 2012 is going to be fab! :)

please december, be kind to me for the rest of the month! that shall be my birthday wish. i dont want anymore unhappiness/ BS/ drama or anything negative. it's been a pretty crappy year but i wanna say i'm sure glad in the midst of all that, it allowed me to see who my true friends are. i've found the ones worth keeping and those who arent worth my time. it's time to MOVE ON and get on with life! To an amazing year ahead!

till then... xoxo

2011-06-16T00:59:00.002-05:00

you are such a jerk. that's all i can say. i'm pissed and frustrated with how you treated me. i was merely your convenience. fuck that. i'm so sick and tired of being treated like crap by you. enough of this bullshit and torture. i'm moving on and nothing that you say or ever do will make me go back to you. never! i deserve so much better than this. i know it's gonna be hard to move on but i'm doing it regardless because you are just unhealthy for me. with my wonderful friends around me, i do not need you in my life. so long mister, i'm done with you.

you had me at hello, you hurt me at goodbye. but, you lost me the day you didn't look back.

2011-06-03T00:52:00.002-05:00

I didn't wanna lose you
Leave [me] with a broken heart
But wherever we are, we're miles apart
I know that we tried, this is the last goodbye

We were almost beautiful
A broken piece of art put on display
But we were never possible
Another perfect moment thrown away

the last goodbye- david cook

2011-05-30T03:11:00.003-05:00

it's been an extremely boring and quiet day in the office. ugh. i m suppose to be working on a newsletter but i ve been trying to put it off in some way just bc i dont wanna fight with photoshop. computer software apps have never been my thing and they never will. but i m still doing some form of work- brainstorming on what to go into the newsletter and finding out random facts about foreign cultures. but overall, it s been such a slow day that my mind has been wandering off thinking about stupid things. stupid things that make me sad and wonder what on earth am i doing with my life.

ive been fighting this empty feeling inside of me for a week now. the feeling that something is missing, something is different, something that i dont like. if there was an easy way out, i would just want to sleep it off.. i wanna just close my eyes, not think about it and just sleep.. sleep and never wake up. or have some form of magic eraser that i could use to erase this emptiness. people say everything happens for a reason.. sometimes i'd rather not, i dont want a reason. a lousy reason. id rather much just skip the entire thing and not have it ever take place. i hate that i m sitting in front of my computer moping, feeling like some fool. why is it taking me so long to get over this? i wanna be so done with this but it s like a bad dream that keeps coming back to haunt me.

when trying becomes tiring, i just stop and give up.

2011-05-29T10:24:00.002-05:00

an attempt to revive my blog. or at least a place for me to rant and vent.

not a lot has happened in my life since my last update other than me landing a full time job at RI. never thought i would be doing something like that but it hasnt been that bad. come monday, it will be my 8th week. work is starting to pile up and i m happy. i'd rather be busy doing something than to sit around and wait for time to go by.

so on another random note...

there hasnt been a day which goes by that i dont think of you. as much as i hate to admit it, it has been kinda hard. my once quiet life got ruffled with and now, i m left to clean up the mess by myself. i only have myself to blame. i took it in all too fast and everything in the wrong way. but i m glad i have friends around me who truly care and are helping me through this. thank you guys.

i know i 'll get by this.. eventually. hopefully soon cause i hate it.

2010-09-19T21:41:00.003-05:00

it has been months since i blogged. and it was my dear friend, tinger who reminded me i still had a blog. thanks babe. i miss you and our asian meals together :)

life back in singapore has just been pretty chill. except for swimming and a lil part time swim coaching, i havent been doing much. got back from a meet in Hongkong about 3 weeks ago. did pretty decent there if u were to consider my medal haul. 1 Gold, 1 Silver, and 1 Bronze. that s of course with the help of my teammates in the relays to a gold and silver. but i have my very own achievement to be proud of. a bronze in the 50 back. shaved about a tenth off my time i did during singapore open in june. i m just 0.4 shy of my lifetime best. my other events were mediocre but i am still happy with them cause i know i gave my best.

my perspective in terms of performance in swimming has changed so much over the years. from the expectations of doing a personal best every time in every event to just simply being happy with the effort i gave. no doubt achieving personal bests and standing on the podium is always a high but i have come to realize that even without these feats, i can still be happy with my swims. it isnt always about best times and medals. no swimmer wants to dive into a race swimming slow. well at least i know for me. i always give my very best in every single race. of course there have been on numerous occasions where my best just wasnt good enough for others. but has anyone ever think about how i felt during these times? no doubt i wanna go fast but sometimes it just aint what it is. you may feel angry or frustrated with my performance but what about me? i am the one swimming. i feel a lot worse. firstly, i have disappointed the people around me. secondly, i didnt meant for it to happen. i have given off my best but it just wasnt good enough. and the list of thoughts and feelings can just go on. however, since i went off the college in the US, my perspective on swimming has changed. my expectations for myself has changed tremendously. swimming isnt all about the ribbons, medals and times. it s about the experience that is takes you through. there have been on so many occasions where even my best wasnt enough for a medal but still i was happy with my performance. or even when my times were just mediocre but i still managed to score that few points for my school. the feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment. if there was one thing i were to take away from swimming in terms of results and performances, it would be not to focus on the big picture of winning and doing best times, instead, on the minute details like giving my all at every race, contributing to the team score even if it means a point, cheering on my team mates even if i had a bad race and feel really upset about it etc. there are more things to be happy about in swimming than just looking back on performance.

for those who still do not understand this, i pray that you will someday cause that is when you truly find the joy in swimming. of course, winning and doing personal bests are always a sweet thing but think of that as a bonus.

2010-06-07T05:13:00.002-05:00

been back in singapore for about 3 weeks. slowly adjusting back to singapore life and most importantly weather. the weather is gonna take me quite awhile to get used to it again :( havent really done much since i got back except to swim and train only. been getting ready for singapore open which starts tomorrow (tuesday). it s a 6 day long meet. it s been years since i swam such a long meet. hopefully i ll be able to survive till sunday. i m not racing any individual events till thursday but i ll be swimming the medley relay tomorrow night. i dont know what to expect outta myself in terms of performance from this meet considering i took a 2 month break back in feb thinking i had actually retired for good. then i decided to get back into it again. i m def not anywhere near my top condition but this shape that i am in shall have to do the work for now.

i ve had MANY comments about how much weight i have put on since the last time everyone at home saw me. basically i am FAT now. like really FAT. i know i def have put on weight since i stopped swimming and doing any exercise during my 2 month break. but i have worked to get back to close the weight i was when i last stopped swimming. obviously i still have a few more pounds to shed. honestly, maybe it s just me but i really do not think i am that fat. or am i just living in denial? i ve gotta much stronger since last year, my arms and back have def gotten bigger. nothing i can do about that since i lift weights. i know it s unattractive but it s all part of swimming. unless people are comparing me to all the sickly thin anorexic singaporean girls, that s no wonder why i am fat. i swear ALL or almost all singaporean girls are wasting away with the sickly concept of being thin. stick thin. which is totally unhealthy. i ve seen many girls around and i think to myself, please stop starving yourself. your body is screaming for help and it might just break down. people have commented on how media and Hollywood play a huge role in contributing to the ideal image of being thin. hollywood maybe thousand of miles away but clearly, everyone here is worshipping them. even Americans look more healthy. there were times where i saw girls in america who were scarily thin but it wasnt as common a sight as in singapore where i can easily pick 20 girls off the street that need to stop starving themselves and eat something. i am sick and tired of people saying i m fat. pls stop. i get the message. i didnt really use to care about it until now when i am flooded with such messages. it s getting on my nerves and i hate.

with singapore open coming up, when i am gonna be in my suit only for 6 days by the pool, i m pretty sure i m gonna get even more comments about my body! and clearly, should i not swim as fast as what i used to go, people are gonna attribute that to my weight. but to hell with that... did it ever occur to you that it might be bcause i had just got back to the water! yes i know i ve become chunkier and i need to lose some pounds. but i m never gonna be as sickly thin as any other singaporean girls. get a life people! i love my body, health, and food too much to do anything stupid like starving myself. maybe this is a reason why i dont have a bf? but i dont give a shit. i am big. if you dont like it, deal with it.

who ever thought that after 3 years away, it would be so hard to fit back into the place where i grew up. i miss my life in the US. i miss my school, my friends, fayetteville, and everything back there.

2010-05-15T16:03:00.002-05:00

finally decided to get down to some update..

my biggest moment in life... graduation from college! i have a degree now. yay! not like it s a big deal in singapore now. but that s a big step for me in life :)

my wonderful friends, scott, sarah, and matt who attended my graduation ceremony

i am an official graduate! :)

only 3 more days left in fay before i leave to go home to singapore! bittersweet feeling. i cant wait to be home to see my friends and family but then i am sad to leave everyone here in fay. leaving my 2 favorite sports behind, baseball and football. i am totally americanized. being in love with the two American sports. what am i gonna do now :(

2010-04-01T19:31:00.004-05:00

SPRING BREAK LA 2010! (Part I)
this year's spring break, i decided to make a trip to LA to visit my friends whom i haven't seen in a long time. i was really excited when i was making plans. i have always wanted to go to LA and now i had the chance to. i had so much fun during my one week there. aside from the magnificent sights and food, company with friends was the best! and often, company always came hand in hand with food. haha. to my dear friends who made my trip to LA such a fun one, thank you so much! <3

nic! whom i havent seen in years. think 3 years. thank you for letting me bum at your place and spending yr weekend with me. i enjoyed every single moment of it especially our long talks and food feasts! :) definitely need to repeat that again. haha

citra and valencia. my dear secondary st nicks schoolmates. i havent seen them in years. it was so wonderful meeting them again. and talk over dinner was the best! i laughed so hard/ much that i think the waiter wanted to throw me out. but valencia wasnt helping me at all. she was too funny! thank you citra for driving a long way to have dinner with me.

elaine. thank you for putting me up for the first two nights. i felt bad barging into your apartment at 3am. i had an interesting time riding the bike around campus and back pedaling behind you (if that's what it's called) while i just sat on the seat and u did the hard work. and of course, thanks for the food you provided me with! :)

valencia and tiffany. thanks for coming to pick me up at the airport at such an unearthly hour considering how tiff had a flight to catch the next morning and valen had to wake up early for work. i definitely enjoyed karaoke in k-town at 12 midnight and that amazing korean rice cake, bbq beef and soju! fun times :)

2010-03-20T21:42:00.002-05:00

congrats to my amazing brother, rainer ng, for making the team for Asian Games. cant be more proud than this. and of course, my sister, eve ng, is also shining in her own light. i just wished i was there to witness it but still, i am so happy for them. as i look back, it has been exactly 4 weeks/ 1 month since i said my goodbye to swimming.maybe it wasnt goodbye but it was my last time since i set foot into the water. 4 saturdays ago was my last time in the pool. last swim meet, SEC's conference in Athens, Georgia representing the University of Arkansas Swimming and Diving Team. this is so insane how it has been a month. ask me if i miss swimming, it would be a lie if i said no but life has pretty much been amazing without swimming too.

i got woken up this morning by a phone call from my dad. i answered with my groggy voice. my dad thought i was sick or something. haha. he said, rainer made the A cut for Asian Games. mum told me not to call u to wake u up but i thought u would want to know of this news. and true that, i was so glad my dad called me cause who cares about that extra sleep, nothing beats having such an amazing piece of news. my sleep can wait.

i didnt do much today except lying on the blow up mattress in the common room watching one tree hill. my current obssession. i m done with season 6. but i m gonna be taking a break from that tv marathon for a little. my back does hurt from lying there all day. haha. only have myself to blame. the only time i got up was to make food to eat. and coming to that, i made some mee siam today. yum :) i m gonna try and maybe.. maybe do some ab exercise tmr to control that growing buldge on my tummy. haha. and hopefully the weather will be nicer tmr considering it was raining all day today.

okay.. i forgot this one part but my mum asked me that a swimmer's parent asked if i was gonna come back to singapore and try to make the team for commonwealth games. my mum replied with, well, it has only been a month since lyn stopped swimming so she hasnt decided yet. and sometimes,swimming isnt everything. there would come a time where there s more to life than swimming so it s up to her. swimming has been a huge part of my life and it will always be. whether i will be getting into the pool anytime soon, i dont know. but today, after listening to that piece of good news of my brother. it reminded me how much joy swimming has brought to me. making the national travel team, achieving personal bests, that sense of achievement. i miss all of that. it does seem tempting to give it a shot again but i m not ready for it just yet. my heart just isnt 100% into it now and if i cant give my 100% i am not going to go for it. swimming is the sport that requires 100%. not only swimming but everything. so for now, the verdict is still no swimming.

thanks bern for reading. cause i know u are the only one who still reads my blog. haha. hopefully we can meet up soon. miss you :)

to my family back at home, i miss everyone but i know i ll be home someday. i m looking forward to food fests!

2010-03-19T14:32:00.002-05:00

since my blog has been pretty sparse and boring, thought i add some pictures to spice it up a tad.
pics from 2 weekends ago. enjoy.

roomies courtney and sarah howard :)

my lovely roomie, sarah howard <3

sarah rowland, my chemistry buddy

2010-03-19T11:38:00.002-05:00

good luck to my dear brother, rainer and sister, eve! you guys are doing great in the meet so far! keep it up. i am so proud of you both :) keep swimming fast!

3 days till i leave for LA for spring break! yay! i cant wait. i ve always wanted to go to LA so i m really excited about trip. gonna be meeting up friends which is even a plus. i ll be getting around 11pm on 22nd. gonna meet and have dinner or you would call that supper, considering the time with tiffany and valen. then they re gonna drop me off at elaine's house. gonna spend the next 2 days there before spending the rest of spring break with nicolette!!!! cant believe i m actually gonna get to see her after i cant even remember how long. i miss her so much!

so most of my friends are leaving today to go home and i m gonna be spending the weekend on my own in my room. will probably be watching one tree hill. my current addiction. i finished two seasons in the past 5 days. im currently on season 6. or maybe if i do get productive, i could try and get some reading in which i actually need to. and.. i m hoping the internet in my room will work cause it has been retarded. i m in the school student union now which has wireless and my computer is working totally fine here. itd better be working when i get back or else i m gonna be pissed. and it s gonna be such a nightmare without the internet over the weekend esp if i m gonna be by myself.

the weather has finally started to warm up. minus the wind which makes it cold. ugh. but at least no more thick layers. i actually put away 3 bags of winter clothes yesterday. gotta start packing up and prepare for my homebound trip.

anyhow.. i should go do some research for class.

Joshua 1:9

2010-03-07T01:19:00.002-06:00

just about 2 months left till graduation. it s coming by a lot faster than i thought it would be and i m not ready for it. i cant believe my college life is almost over. time to grow up and enter into the working world. just the thought of it is enough to scare me. i dont know what to expect. it s so foreign to me. but i guess it s all about taking that first step out. to think just three years ago, i started my college life. never did i think time would just fly by like that.

since college life is almost over, time to move on with swimming. had my last SEC college conference meet 2 weekends ago. my last meet as an Arkansas Razorbacks. never been more proud to be one. i ended off my meet and senior year the way i wanted. making top 16 individually in the 100 back in the fastest swimming conference in the US. breaking the school record at the same time. never thought i would even have a shot in breaking that record again since i did it with the suit the last time. guess suit or no suit, it doesnt matter. it s all psychological. even though we came in 6th overall, one spot lower than what we were aiming for and were last year, it was our best swimming performance ever as a team. there s nothing more we could have asked for. with only 8.5 points from 5th place, it didnt matter. the sweeter part of it was beating LSU by only 0.5. coming in 6th didnt matter. beating our arch rivals was all that mattered. sweet victory. needless to say, i cant even rmb how many times i cried on the last day. it was emotional. very emotional at least for me. my two very wonderful coaches, jeff and todd who gave me an opportunity at swimming again and for believing in me. being able to study, swim and represent the University of Arkansas has truly been the best thing that has happened to me. the curtains have come down. it s time i said goodbye to swimming. the sport that has brought me much joy and tears. who knows if this clearly is the end of it for me. maybe something will reignite that passion months down the road. but as of now, it is too early to tell. 2 weeks on, no swimming, not working out, i am living my life like a normal college student. enjoying every single day i am left with. as much as i dont want it to end, i just have to accept that all good things come to an end. but i ll only be looking forward to even better things ahead of me.

okay.. on a lighter note/ back tracking a little on what has been going on since i retired. i got my hair cut and colored after getting back from my championship meet on 24th february. decided to go with a newer look to treat myself to a new phase in life. i love how my hair is looking now. not a drastic change with the length but it was more that i have bangs now. more asian than ever. like what my friends tell me. and i go to class the next day, eager to see you like i always have been. i walk in and there you are seated, flashing the biggest smile i have ever seen from you at me. it warmed my heart. and those three words you said to me after class never made me felt happier, "you look good" . yes.. it wasnt i love you. lol. you still made my day. it s amazing how that few words from you can matter so much to me. i know i m taking this a little too far cause deep down, i know you are not that guy. but for now, just let me enjoy my fantasy and my last 2 months of classes with you. that promise you made me on march 2nd i ll never forgot. "that will be on my to do list". i know it s an empty promise but still, i was happy to hear that. oh boy, this is such a dream for me. a dream that i dont ever wanna wake up from but i know i ll have to eventually.

for now.. i m just gonna leave it as it is. living in my fantasy world of love.

2010-02-12T10:01:00.002-06:00

yesterday was a good day. a great morning of just chatting with you in the hallway and then meeting you randomly at study hall later in the afternoon again. you made my day. as always :)
valentine's day edition of greys anatomy. sad that i ll be missing next week's cause of SEC's. 3 days till be leave for athens, georgia for conference. and 5 more days till race day! almost the end of my swimming career. i cant believe this.

got to sleep in this morning. since i m on taper, i got the morning off. woohoo! i didnt have to get up till my class at 130 but i got up at 910 on my own. great sleep :) so excited for what s to come up the next few days. jason's deli dinner tonight and then maybe off to watch the tyson track invitational. after morning prac on sat, david's rugby game and then our valentine's day movie outing and of course followed by dinner after :D and let's see sunday... valentine's day. it ll pretty much be just like any other day. i m used to it already. havent got anything planned yet but most prob headed to dinner with my roommates. the singles. lol. wonder when will it be when i actually get to spend it with my bf. haha.

chinese new year in 2 days. same day as valentine's day. wished i could be home to spend it with my family.

2010-02-07T20:49:00.004-06:00

first post of 2010. haha. havent had the time to update. just caught the superbowl on tv. saints vs the colts. it was a good game. i m not a fan of any so it didnt really matter to me who won. but it was a big upset. that amazing interception by the saints did it all. peyton manning had to be pissed! haha. final score: 31-17

today has been a good sunday. spent pretty much of my day working on my paper which i got done :) went to sonic to get my strawberyy slush with pineapple. had steak and riblets for dinner at applebees. caught the superbowl game. awesome sunday. saturday was equally actually no, was even better than sunday. i had my epic encounter at the mall with my baseball boy :) my epic moment was witnessed by chelsea and ashley. cant wait for baseball season to start now! <3

2009-12-31T20:28:00.002-06:00

last post of the year 2009! cant believe this year is almost over. how fast time flies. shall do a little backtrack to the past two weeks.

spent a week- christmas week in oklahoma with katie whitbeck and her family. it was chill and fun. it snowed or should i say there was a blizzard on christmas eve and we drove through the blizzard to go for christmas eve mass. haha. we were 7 of the 40 people there who made it through the terrible conditions for church. hard core. we saw soooo many cars get stuck on the road on our way there because of the snow. fortunately we didnt until after church on our way back, we got stuck in this snow pile for a good 15-20 mins. and my friend's brother, her sister, and her mum had to get outta the car to push the car. pretty much it was kinda crazy driving cause of the blizzard and icy roads. gotta take some skills to drive in that weather. so i woke up the next morning to a white christmas!!! first ever. it was soooo beautiful. there was about 5inches of snow on the ground. oh.. and i did not wake up but instead got woken up by a 5 year old girl- my friend's little sister at 830am cause she was excited to open christmas presents. i definitely could have slept till 10am at least. anyhow.. we went sledding later in the morning. i ve never gone sledding before so that was a first. the snow wasnt really good but i made two trips. and... i made a first snow angel. i have pictures but i ve yet to upload them onto the computer so i ll put pictures up later.

so headed back to fayville on 27th dec to get ready for winter training. awesome... not. but whatever. basically its been crazy swimming since monday. exhausted is all i can say. and.. i spent my 21 st birthday swimming obviously. but it was still a memorable birthday. after 2 sessions of swimming for that day. the team and i went to grubs which is a sports bar to have dinner. it was nice having the entire team and so of the girls' boyfriends there to celebrate my 21st birthday for me. needless to say, i got pretty special gifts:

ting and jamie got me a cocktail mixer and a birthday balloon.
erica got me a princes tiara and a specially hand decorated wine glass. it s soooo pretty.
jill got me a shot glass obviously. haha
ashely baked me a cake and cookies
maddie and matt got me a cute beer card and hershey's kisses <3
erin got me the season special noel bean mosturizer which comes out only during christmas
gina got me a cookie cake
sarah howard, my dearest beloved roomie got me earrings, purple headbands, and a photo frame which we have yet to put a pic in there cause she was gonna wait to put a pic of me and her on my 21st birthday in it.

i love them all. and of course to everyone who wrote on my wall to wish me happy birthday, thank you all. oh and obviously, turning 21 is a huge deal especially in the US.. you are legal to drink!!! so i ordered my first drink, nothing too fanciful. bailey's on the rocks and i got a birthday shot on the house. tht was pretty much my alcohol adventure. had to be sober and ready to go for practice the next morning. but i had a memorable 21st birthday.

so it s new year's eve now. kinda weird cause it s been new year s at home for more than 11hours. about 3 hours more till new year's but i wont be doing any countdown. i ll be asleep by then to get ready for war aka new year's morning training tmr . just pray that i survive cause it s always the hardest practice ever. that s all i have for my last post of 2009!

2009 has been a year of memories for me. and i am thankful for getting through another year. all i wish for 2010 is to be a smooth year and most importantly is to graduate from college and get a job! of course, to meet the right guy would be awesome too. lol

Happy 2010 everyone! May everyone have a great year ahead :)

2009-12-13T13:36:00.002-06:00

in the midst of finals week now but i am taking some time off to post. i m actually in the library now working on my paper and studying for a final tmr. i ve been really productive in my paper and i m sooooooo happy about it. that s the only reason why i can take some time off to blog now :) studying has been pretty stressful period. i dont know what my GPA is gonna be this semester at all. i cant wait for my grades to be posted up. anyhow, this wasnt my main thing i was gonna blog about.

my brother, who is competing in Laos now for SEA Games in swimming. duh. is doing soooooo incredibly awesome. i am so super proud of him. bronze in the 200back, silver in the 100back. first big international meet other than world champs as part of the singapore national team. what more can you ask for. he s left with 200fly and the 4x100medley relay. hopefully he ll continue to do well and shine. yay!!!! seriously, all this good news has been the cause of my survival and sanity. i love my brother!!!

ok.. i m done for now. time to head back to writing my paper :)
GO Rainer GO!!!! :)

2009-12-09T21:59:00.005-06:00

TO MY DEAR BROTHER, RAINER COMPETING IN HIS FIRST EVER SEA GAMES IN LAOS,
GOOD LUCK!!!!!

you never fail to amaze me in the pool. i am so proud to have you as my brother. you inspire me to be the best. i hope that you will shine at this games and have the time of your life. i wish i could be there to cheer you on but i m sure eve, mum, and our wonderful three aunts will be doing the glorious job for me. May God's grace fill your heart and that you ll bring glory to His mighty name! go kick some butts :)

the champ of our family, rainer ng :)

my wonderful and lovely family <3

there isnt one day which i dont miss my family

2009-11-29T10:10:00.003-06:00

i spent thanksgiving in st louis, missouri at one of my team mate, erin's house. second thanksgiving with them and i am so thankful for them accomodating me yet again. i had so much fun and relax time. got to experience black friday shopping. wished my mum was here cause i m sure the both of us wouldve gone crazy together. we are awesome shoppers :)

The highlight of my trip was visiting the Arch. it is a famous national monument in st louis. The Gateway Arch is known as the "Gateway to the West". It stands 630 feet (192 m) tall and 630 feet (192 m) wide at its base. The legs are 54 feet (16.5 m) wide at the base. The Arch is part of the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial and it is located along the Mississippi River.

Here are some pictures that i took of the Arch at different times..

taken at sunset

different view of the Arch at sunset

along the Mississippi River

the Arch before sunset

there is a tram that takes you up all the way to the top of the arch but the line was too long and we didnt wanna wait so we got into a stationary tram.

me, ally, and erin

leaving to head back to fayville in about 3 hours. 5 hour car ride back. back to reality, school, and swimming. it s gonna be extra crazy with this last 2 weeks of school for the semesters. gotta write many papers, prepare for presentations and take my finals. busy busy busy. gotta keep trucking. so close to being done.

lastly.. to my dear brother who left for Phuket for training trip and then headed to Laos after for SEA Games, good luck! i know you ll do awesome like you always do. wished i could be there to watch and support you but know that i will be cheering from you here in Arkansas. Miss you <3

2009-11-28T21:57:00.003-06:00

OMFG!!!!! we just lost to LSU in overtime all thanks to Tejada!!! how did he miss that field goal!!!! that s his only job and he screws it up. way to go. i m so pissed right now.... aargh!!!! Tejada better not show his face on campus on monday. Good god. we need to get a new kicker fosho. LSU!!! how could we lose to them!!! we beat them last year when we were horrible and this year, we are a way better team and we lose to them. what is wrong with these football players? gosh, i m so extremely pissed right now. way to go Hogs! disappointment.

2009-11-13T21:40:00.004-06:00

what more can i say about school than it being crazy. so much to do all the time. i ve definitely stared at the computer the most this semester than any year added up cause i m always doing work. boo. feel such a nerd. extreme mugger. but than, only 5 more weeks till this semester is over! woohoo... then it ll be goodbye to books for awhile. about 2 months. yay! before going into my final semester of senior year. almost done with college. bittersweet.

just got back from ashley's and liana's birthday dinner. great dinner at mimi's. stuffed. it was fun having a group of 15 ppl get together. i m def gonna miss swimmers' get together when i m done with college. makes me sad. this past 2 1/2 years spent here, in fayetteville, arkansas has been the best years ever in my life. i would never do anything to exchange what ive gone through. met amazing people, learnt a lot, being away from home, adapting to a new culture. priceless. i m gonna miss this big time when i leave. who wouldve have guessed that i would be missing this place. but i know i will. tomorrow is our last football game of the season against Troy. maybe my last game ever. boo. but Go Hogs! football has started to grown on me. too bad it wasnt sooner. but oh well.. better late than never.

let s see.. as always, tons to do this weekend in terms of school. need to finish writing a 12 page paper by thurs, outline of a paper for another class on monday, powerpoint for group project, and start research for paper. awesome. gotta try and fit all of that in somehow.

so my sister, eve, is done with O' levels!!!! woohoo... i m sure she s super excited/ happy. time to toss all books away and celebrate. she has been studying so much over the past however many months and she truly deserves a good break from school now. pretty sure she is partying up a storm now. haha.

gonna head to bed now for practice tomorrow morning. one last practice till the weekend! :)

2009-10-31T12:58:00.003-05:00

long endless nights of staying up late, a battle with the pile of assignments and tests awaits me, the constant struggle with people around me, the mind breaking and body breaking workouts. every day is a new day, every week is a new week but why do i find myself having the same things happen to me over and over again. it s like a vicious cycle. i wear my emotions on my sleeves. i cant help it. it s just me. i dont want to share sometimes just let me be. who will understand what i m actually going through. no one else but me. maybe i m just loosing my mind. all that built up frustration is catching up on me. double standards, hate it. i m never good enough. it s never good enough to be just me. let me just shut down. it s enough. i just wanna let go and slip into a dream where fantasy awaits me. maybe i m just weird and i dont fit in. i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel. i m not only losing my mind but losing my sight. frustration furstration furstration. i dont know what to do now. all i know is it s never going to be the same. i just gotta accept i m never going to be good enough. let go. i live in my simple world and i m of a simple mind. hate me for all i care. i m sick of it. i only live for myself.

2009-09-20T13:27:00.002-05:00

what a busy weekend it has been. 17 recruits coming into town. wow. it was simply overwhelming. my recruit was molly milborn from indiana. i hope she liked it here and had fun with me. haha. we had our very first football game of the season against the Georgia bulldogs. it was a great game eventhough we lost. we were def wayyyyy better this year. last year was just painful to watch. our first half of the game was great. it was really exciting. if only they could have finished the game on high but still i applaude the team. we did great out there against a ranked team last night. the game was really long and i actually stayed the entire game. dont remember the last time i actually did last year cause we just sucked soooo badly. it s a total new team this year. hopefully we ll see better games to come. next homegame is against auburn Oct 10th. GO HOGS GO!!!

today (sunday), just gonna be spending most of my day studying. hopefully. i m super tired just from the past 2 days. so i m praying i ll be able to get some work done today cause i need to. gonna be a crazy week in school this coming week. not like it hasnt been. this past week esp thurs was kinda insane too but i m glad it s over. the next two weeks are in fact gonna be worse than last week so good luck to me on that.

stuff i have to do this upcoming week:

mon: presentation and reading memo
tue: committe meeting
thurs: 2 quizes and 2 exams. FML!!!!
sat: 6hour long practice!!!

shoot me. we shall see how that goes for the week. need to head back to my books now. way to spend my sunday :(

2009-09-16T11:25:00.002-05:00

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY BERN!!!

yet another birthday that the both of us are apart again :( i hope you ll have an awesome birthday in perth. miss you always.

here s a walk down memory lane starting with the latest...

2009-09-06T19:59:00.001-05:00

Is it all
Or Nothing at all
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

the good old o-town: all or nothing

sometimes i wished i knew better than this.

2009-08-24T05:16:00.002-05:00

summer is over. it s back to school today. start of a new year and it s my last and final year in college. i m a senior. woohoo. cant believe how fast time has gone by. i ve been studying in arkansas for 2 years already and i m onto my final year. i still clearly rmb the first day i got here. my sleeping times are still kinda screwed. i ve been getting up around 445-530am for the lsat 3 mornings regardless of what time i go to bed. i went to bed at 930 last night and got up at 445am. not too bad i guess. def better than saturday.

so i dont have class all day on monday till 530pm. and it s only one class. this is what my class schedule looks like for the rest of the semester:

monday: 530-820pm media and gender

tues/thurs:

930am- 1050am communication and gender

11am- 1220pm history of china

1230pm-150pm chinese culture and film

2pm- 320pm language and society of japan

wed/fri: NO CLASSES!!! (:

yeah that s how it looks. if you re wondering why i have these china/ chinese culture/ japanese classes, i m doing a minor in asian studies. hence all these unusual classes aside from my communication classes. hope it wouldnt be too hard or boring.

so swimming practices officially start on tues afternoon. but since i have class, i ll be swimming in the morning instead. and that also means i have to get up early every morning. no more sleep ins except for sundays ): oh well. but i m just excited to be starting school again. yay!

2009-07-08T00:31:00.002-05:00

it was such a disappointment when u didnt turn up the last day. i was really hoping to get to talk to u or at least get your name or find out where i ve met/seen you before. guess that ll remain a mystery till who knows if our paths will ever cross again ): sometimes i frustrate myself for not going the extra mile. if only i wasnt in such a rush that night or just stopped for a moment to think, i m sure i wouldnt be left hanging in the air now. gosh.. this is so frustrating for me right now. bleah.

been home for a week already. the weather in singapore is seriously driving me crazy. it s so hot and humid. amazing how i ve yet to pass out under the heat.

2009-06-29T02:28:00.002-05:00

havent updated in a month and i just wanted to blog at least once in june so here i am. i m back in singapore (: got back early this morning. been back on sing ground for about 15hours and i m lovin every moment of it even though i havent done much. haha. it s just been awesome being back with the family. i havent seen my brother yet though cause he s all checked in at westin hotel for asian youth games. meant to go down and visit him today but i would have to wear a mask just in case of the H1N1 and i dont really wanna wear a mask in the hotel. look quite noob. haha. but actually the main reason i didnt go down was, i ended up sleeping. suffering from a real bad case of jet lag.

i slept for 3 hours when i got back and got up at 645am.. and then i had breakfast, slacked around a lil and then i went to sleep for 4 hours. my sleeping pattern is def screwed up big time. oh wells. i m gonna head down to swimfast for a paddle later to loosen up. i m glad my lil sis is with me spending time. hopefully i havent annoyed the shit outta her. haha.

as much as i love being home, i miss my girlies in arkansas alrd. it s so diff not having them around. 10 months of seeing them every single day. go figure. but i ll be reunited with them before i know it so for now... it s home sweet home. gonna enjoy home with my family and friends. i m excited to see my bro race at AYG and do us proud. it s crazy walking ard and seeing his posters around at train stations and stuff. i havent seen them but that s what my mum and sis told me. poster boy. who would think. my dear brother. lol

anyhow, really hope he races well and do everyone proud. i love my family (:

2009-05-31T10:00:00.002-05:00

two weeks of summer school down. 4 to go. gotta say that it s going by pretty fast. i m only left with one month of school and then i ll get to take a long break from studying. i was just looking back at things and i ve realised how much more i ve enjoyed studying ever since coming to the US. i remember back in the days of st nicks, i hated going to school so badly. talk about studying. it was worst cause i felt no matter how hard i studied, i was gonna fail anyway so what s the point. but since coming to the US, it has been entirely different. i realy enjoy studying and going to school. most of the time at least. cause i know that as long as i go to class, do the assignments and study, i can get good grades. if i work hard, my grades will reflect it. unlike sec school where even if i were to work my butt off.. i ll still not get good grades at all. which totally sucks. therefore, i m really grateful that i got this opportunity to be here and actually enjoy learning, meeting new people, and experiencing life.

the weather here has been pretty nice. no longer cold. nice and warm out even though the beginning of the week was rainy and cloudy but at least it wasnt cold.

i m waiting for the dining hall to be open at 11 so that i can go have brunch. really hungry even though i had a bagel already. maybe i should do some work now before brunch. i have a paper to write later which i really do not want to. sunday is lazy day. i dont wanna do anything at all.

oh.. and on a random note, i chopped my hair on thursday. it was just above the mid of my back before i chopped it and now it s slightly just below my ears. feels kinda weird losing all that hair but i love my new haircut.

2009-05-20T22:51:00.009-05:00

YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!!!KRIS ALLEN

WON!!!!!!! YAY ARKANSAS!!!!!!!!!

i totally screamed my lungs out when the results were announced. i was going crazy. haha. yay arkansas!!! it was totally mind blowing/amazing! my votes definitely helped. yay kris!!!

check this picture i found, he was right here at my school's football stadium. GO HOGS GO!!! how crazy is that? i may have walked past him before and didnt even know.

2009-05-20T18:43:00.001-05:00

american idol results tonight!!! i m so excited. i m pretty sure adam is gonna win but i m secretly hoping that kris will win. GO KRIS GO!!! be the dark horse and win!!!!!!!!

2009-05-19T18:30:00.002-05:00

american idol finale in 30 mins!!! woohoo!!! i cant wait. i m so excited. pls let kris win. i hope he has a knock out performance tonight. go arkansas go!!!! i m fosho voting for him tonight. i m all set. we re having an american idol watch party in my room later. in the meantime, i m gonna do some reading first before it starts.

GO KRIS GO!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-18T20:12:00.002-05:00

all moved in and suited in the dorm. really nice to be back in a room of my own. arms are defintiely aching from moving boxes yesterday. i m rooming with jill and lisa. they re really fun to be with. today was the official first day of summer school. i m taking two classes- leadership communication and intro to rhetorical theory. all i can say is there is a ton of reading everday for both classes. boo. and there s a quiz everyday in leadership comm. i could prob list a million other bad things abt this two classes. but the point is, summer school sucks. thank god this will be my first and last time taking it. i dont not like it at all. i shant/ cant go into details right now cause I HAVE TO GO READ FOR CLASS TMR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway.. this morning during training we had to get out of the pool for abt 10 mins cause the fire alarm in the building went off and the firemen came. dont really know wht happened but it was really funny cause all of us had to evacuate the building and we were just standing out there in our swimsuit and cap.

ok.. i really need to read so that i can go to bed. i m so tired. i officially hate summer school. bah.

2009-05-17T10:13:00.002-05:00

i m gonna be moving into the dorms in about 2 hours! i m excited to have my own room. i m hoping the weather will be nice when i move in cause when i had to move out of the dorms, it was pouring!!! needless to say, i was drenched and so were my friends, fletch and megan who so kindly helped me moved. please have nice weather for today.

summer school starts tmr. kinda excited but at the same time not really wanting school to start. mixed feelings. but i m gonna try and look forward to it cause the faster i get over it, means the faster and closer it ll be to going home to sunny singapore.

2009-05-16T16:22:00.003-05:00

a little movie update for the week..

caught fighting starring channing tatum on wednesday with summer and gina after american idol. nothing too fantastic.

then comes the x men movie marathon... totally loved it. esp x-men origins: wolverine

x-men

x2: x-men united

x-men: the last stand

x-men origins: wolverine

hugh jackman is SO hot and extremely buff in x-men origins <3

2009-05-13T21:17:00.003-05:00

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KRIS ALLEN IS IN THE FINAL OF AMERICAN IDOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-13T11:34:00.003-05:00

despite the upsetting thunderstorm weather after my nap, causing me not being able to lay out -_- yesterday, it was a good and chill day for me. it started storming abt an hour after i got up form my nap hence the plans of laying out to enjoy the afternoon sun had to be aborted. stayed in, watched TV, ate chips, and got fat. haha. then i went with gina and summer's dad to wal mart and home depot as he had to run errands. summer s dad is so much fun. he s super funny. totally can see why summer turned out like that. haha.i love that girl to bits. he made dinner for us as he felt bad that we had to take him around to run errands in the rain. and he had to do them cause he was leaving to go back to washington state today early morning. so he was getting some stuff for her and her apartment. we had mini pzzas for dinner. it was delicious. i shall TRY and attempt to make it when i go home this summer.

Then we or actually mainly it was me watching AMERICAN IDOL!!!!! i m currently kinda hooked on it but this season is really good. it s down to the top 3 singers- danny, kris and adam. today's voting results and i m so excited for it. i would totally die if kris doesnt get into the final. kris is from ARKANSAS!!!!! yay eh.. someone from arkansas is actually on american idol and he CAN sing!!! and he can play the piano and guitar too!!! how talented is that. def brownie points. he s married with a pretty wife thou. that s not the point. can u imagine how insane it is that someone from arkansas is actually on the show? bet people in singapore watching american idol must be.. huh.. arkansas? where the hell is that? but hey.. now people know because of him (: kris sang apologize by one republic last night and played the piano with it. it was a pretty good just because he could actually play the piano. a surprise there. the song was chosen by kara, the new judge and i totally hated.. HATED her for the comments he gave kris after the show. but i totally loved simon for his comments to her. thank you simon. i really wish they hadnt put kara on the show. i honest to god, do not like her AT ALL. but whatev, kris' second song was heartless by kanye west and he played the guitar along with it. all i can say was, he was AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!! totally nailed it. even better than the orginal version by kanye. i m def going to buy that song on itunes. i loved it.

danny wasnt too bad last night too esp his second song. i didnt like his first performance as much but i would still rate it better than adam who sang.. oh no wait, i meant screamed cry by aerosmith. it was SO horrible but dont worry, he didnt get any bad comments. i cant believe how much the judges like adam that its annoying. they re ALWAYS praising him and i feel like the other contestants do not get as much credit as they should. i mean look at kris last night, his 2nd performance was better than anyone else that night but he wasnt given as much credit as adam who was just boring and lame throughout last night. and all the judges kept saying about adam is.. oh, if u dont get into the finals next week, this will be the biggest upset ever in idol history and blah blah blah.. seriously?! i dont wanna see him in the final at all but i know he ll be in anyhow because of his gothic/ emo/ i dont know what else to describe look that appeals to some people. i admit he can sing but i just do not like him.

anyhow, i voted for kris last night. yes, my first time ever voting. i voted for kris. arkansas fan right here. so he'd better get into the finals or else i ll faint. i m really excited for the show tonight. 8 hours till then (:

KRIS KRIS KRIS!!!

on a randon note.. i m having a stiff neck. ugh.

2009-05-12T09:49:00.003-05:00

just made breakfast. or say my friend made omelette for me. i made our strawberry crack. haha. we dont know the exact name to this dessert which consists of strawberry, banana, peaches, and pineapple so we just call it strawberry crack cause it s sooooo good. whatev, i made the thing with my friend, gina, giving me instructions. so it s done and it s sitting in the fridge chillin.

gonna take a short nap now and then go lay out in the sun to get my tan back. it ll be the first time laying out/ being in the sun since last summer. need to get some color back in me. haha. i m excited for that. apparently the weather forecast for today says sunny all day so i m really hoping it ll be that way.

summer school starts in less than a week. it starts next monday. and i m not doing summer school cause i messed up my grades in my classes and i m taking it to make up for it. many people have the misconception that if u do summer school means you didnt do well in school during the year. but that s so not true. however, there are people who did mess up during the year hence they have to take summer sch but not everyone is like that. most people take summer sch to get their credit hours in so that in senior year, they do not have to take that many classes and have it easy. basically that s the reason i m doing it. and my other friend, megan, she s taking summer school so that she can graduate in 3 years which she is going to and so she ll be graduating the same time as me.

i have less than a year before i graduate from college. it s kinda crazy how fast time flies. it seemed like only yesterday that i came to Arkansas to start college, begin a new life, and meet amazing friends. i am so thankful that i was given this opportunity to come to the US and experience all of this. it s the best thing that has happened to me. and i do not regret a single bit of it even though i ve had to be away from my family. but i ve definitely learnt so much during this period of time. this time next year, i dont know what i ll be doing with my life but i know for sure that when i look back, i m not gonna have any regrets but only happy memories. talking about life after college, i seriously have NO IDEA what i m gonna do. this is scary. seriously. i m majoring in communications and minoring in asian studies but i dont know what i wanna do with my major at all. it s so broad that i m at a lose. i m thinking of doing an internship/ getting a job over the summer when i get home to test the waters in the communications field. so if anyone has any job recommendations, pls let me know. i ll be interested to look it up and try. i m looking at something along the lines of public relations. but then again, if there are any other job opportunities i wouldnt mind trying cause i may end up liking it even more. so if any has anything, pls pls pls let me know.

on a random note.. i need a hair cut sometime soon cause my hair is getting to long and heavy for my head. haha. ok.. that was lame. but whatever.

2009-05-11T12:37:00.002-05:00

i know i should totally be satisfied with a GPA of 3.8, 4 As and 1 B but i m not at all. cause that B wasnt suppose to be a B at all. i was SO close in getting an A. i should have gotten it. it s a long story. i m not gonna ramble about it here. but i m seriously so pissed right now. 3.8 two semesters in a row. damn it. it s just so frustrating. i seriously wanna go hang myself right now!!!!! why? why? why? i honestly have the worst luck in the world. AAAHHHHHHHH.
shoot me please. seriously.

i m totally flippin a shit right now. it s gonna take me a LONG time before i ll get over this. oh, dont worry, i ve emailed my teacher 3 times alrd to try and get him to give me and A. that s how anal and persistent i ve been. there was no one way i was gonna let me A slip by without giving it a fight. i know.. sounds really dramatic. but u have no idea how much i had to study for this class over the entire semester. the most shit i ve ever had to do was definitely in this class. hence this frustration that i have. i need to smash some plates now i think. i dont know. bah.. i dont know what to do!!!!!

2009-05-05T14:01:00.002-05:00

no prizes for guessing where i am right now. in the library of course. my last day in the library studying. i have one more final to go. just one more tmr and i m DONE!!!! i cant wait. i ve been spending way too much time in the library and too much time studying. but i must say that it has paid off. as of now, since i ve taken 4 finals, i hoping/looking at 4 A's. the last one which i have tmr is persuasion and this is the deciding factor to my otherwise perfect 4.0 GPA semester. i have to get almost a 100% on the final tmr. sounds impossible eh but i spoke to my professor and he said it isnt impossible so i m definitely gonna be giving a shot at it. so i m gonna be studying all day for it and studying super hard for it. i already starting studying yesterday. i m really really praying that i ll be able to pull off something miraculous tmr and get an A in the class. please. i came so close last semster with 3.8- 4A's and 1 B!!!! ugh. i dont want it to be like that again this semester.

anyhow, i had a final yesterday- media violence and before i took that final i had 2 cups of coffee and i usually never drink coffee but i needed it so badly. and dont worry it didnt really help me that much. so later during the day around 6pm i bought this energy drink which i ve never tried before. i couldnt find red bull so i had to settle for something else and it actually tasted pretty good. and this one definitely worked. it worked way too well. i couldnt fall asleep till 3am and i had intended on going to practice at 6am. so when i evetually did fall asleep and my alarm went off, i couldnt get up and i knew if i did go to practice i wasnt gonna make it through today esp since i need to be studying. but.. feeling guilty, i went to swim when i finally got up at 10am with ting. swam for about 1.5 hrs. stopped by starbucks to get an iced caramel macchiato and now i m sitting at the library ready to start my battle with my books. i need to pull through today and be productive. i can do it!!!

2009-05-01T17:36:00.002-05:00

after practicing in the morning, i had breakfast, took a quick shower and headed to the library to study. got there at 1030am fiddled around for awhile before starting work at 11. i was studying for 20mins and then all of a sudden i felt so sleepy. so i went to the couch in the library and took a 35 min nap. haha. but i felt so good after. power nap worked. got back to my books and 30mins later i was craving for chocolates so i went to the cafe and bought some snacks. and for real this time i started studying all the way and i havent stopped since and the clock reads 540pm now.

all i can say is i m about to blow my brains out from studying. i am so mentally exhuasted from studying. 3 finals down 2 to go. i spend up to AT LEAST 6 hours in the library everyday. since last saturday. i dont even know wht was the longest time i ve been in here. but i ve practically been living in here studying ): what a life. hopefully it ll pay off when my grades come out.

cant wait for finals to be over so that i can catch up on my sleep and rest.

- you knocked on the glass window and surprised me

2009-04-29T14:11:00.002-05:00

here i am sitting in the library, desparately trying to study but not succeeding. i ve been to the library every day since sat. to study of course. had a final today... kinda effy about it but i do hope i still get my A in the class. my big final is tmr- mediated comm. currently i have a 89.5 in the class. just 0.5 away from an A so basically i have to ace the final to get my A. ugh. so i ve been studying for it. but i m still not confident of it. been trying to memorise stuff but it aint really working. i spent the last one hour on one question. totally sucks. feel so tired and drained that i dont wanna study now. the stress is definitely building up. i m falling asleep here in the library. cant concentrate. this sucks. honestly. have a play rehearsal later at 7pm. not looking forward to that. basically i just do not wanna do anything now but i cant. i need to be making full use of all the time i have!!!!

yesterday was kinda crazy studying but your surprise show up definitely made my day.

1 week till end of finals.

2009-04-18T13:17:00.001-05:00

i got it. i m done and i m over it. thanks for the closure.

2009-04-17T22:04:00.002-05:00

movie outing with erin, sarah howard, and jessie to catch 17 again. we ve been planning this movie date since 3 weeks ago. and it just came out today. really enjoyed the movie. had some good laughs. this was what that got me through the week of practice and school.

one more practice tmr and then the weekend. woohoo. cant wait. feel like this week has been way too long and passing by too slowly for some reason. just hoping that tmr morning s practice wouldnt be too hard. gonna do some community service after practice. will be helping with time keeping at a club swim meet being held at our pool. and then will prob spend the afternoon studying in the library. yup.. no life. but my grades are definitely more important now considering finals are coming up soon, i cant afford to mess around. not worth it. and then there s a spring red white football game at 6pm tmr. may just go to that. depending on how i feel after studying.

just only 2 more weeks of classes and junior year and spring semester 2009 will be over!!!

2009-04-16T19:36:00.001-05:00

You say you gotta go and find yourself
You say that you're becoming someone else
Don't recognize the face in the mirror
Looking back at you

You say you're leavin
As you look away
I know theres really nothin left to say
Just know i'm here
Whenever you need me
I'll wait for you

So i'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me

Take your time i wont go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I'll keep your things right where you left them
I'll be here for you

David Cook- Come Back To Me

2009-04-13T23:24:00.002-05:00

i'm so glad that i managed to complete my battle with my persuasion paper and turned it in today. i seriously hope i can get a good grade cause i need it badly. i m sitting with a C in the class now. dreadful. and, we also had a test in persuasion class today. definitely more well prepared than the last time but the answers were really tricky so i dont know how i m gonna do in it. but i m hoping at least a B. that s all i m asking for. i ll get to know my grade on wednesday. got back another grade today for the exam in took in contemporary communications class last wed and my jaw dropped when i saw my grade online. i swear i almost died. i had a 72!!! which is a C!!! and i for sure didnt think i did that badly considering this exam was the easiest out of the past 3 which i have taken and i ve always gotten a B at least. so u can imagine how much i felt like dying when i saw that. but thankfully, due to attendance points, daily assessments, and extra credits, i m still on track to get an A in this class with one exam to go. I just have to make sure i dont screw it up.

did my laundry earlier tonight. i never ever do my laundry on a monday. i always do it over the weekend but i ve just been swarmed with some much work and studying the past weekend that i didnt have the time to. and then, i packed my clothes in my wardrobe. it was in an utter mess but it looks all neat and tidy now (: and i also finished my 5 page critique paper that i had to do for drama class, took an online assessment. i feel really accomplished. and to top it all off.. i had a good practice this afternoon. at least that was wht i felt. haha. but this morning's practice was HORRIBLE to the max. definitely felt like some distance swimmer but i m glad it s over. i thought i would ve died during mid way.

time to head to bed... my long tuesday awaits me as usual. and also the dreaded tuesday IM practice ): oh well. hopefully tmr will be a good day somehow.

2009-04-12T21:11:00.004-05:00

my weekend can be summed up in terms of hours i spent in the library:

sat:
2-530pm and 630- 1045pm

sun:
1-8pm

awesomeness. but i m glad i did it cause i got so much work done. my back hurts now from sitting too long. ugh. i am so tired right now. bleah. i think i m mentally drained.

persuasion test tmr. i hope i can ace it cause i need to.

2009-04-09T19:31:00.003-05:00

highlight of today...

at breakfast, i was trying to cut my sprinkle doughnuts into smaller pieces and i ended up getting a piece of it along with several potato slices all over me. way to start off the morning.

headed to class:

mediated comm, which i had a quiz in. it was a fill-in-the-blank format. oh dont worry, i sucked on that one. the worst thing to ever get is fill in the blanks. out of 15 questions, i swear i only knew just about half of them and i just guess and filled in some random words in the blanks. at least i tried. the teacher gave us a bonus question but dont worry, i didnt even know the answer to it. looks like the bonus wasnt really a bonus after all. but... i guess i dont have to feel that bad about not doing well cause the whole class felt the same way cause during the test, students were asking the teacher if we could drop the lowest quiz grade aka the one which we were currently doing, or for her to give us a word bank, or simply to give a HUGE curve. haha. we were that desperate. and, i saw this guy who turned in his sheet with only 3 blanks filled out. i guess i may still have hope.

drama lecture- had a short test. i think i did fine. all that i couldnt answer was just the last question and one another question. but i think my A should be safe. the test took 10 mins and i was outta there. sweetness.

went to the study hall area to get some reading done for my next class. then i decided to head for lunch. here comes the next highlight...

i was eating a bowl of cereal with milk... somehow or another, my hand got into the way of the bowl and the next thing i knew, i had milk and cereal all over my pants. my pants was literally swimming in cereal and milk. gasp. my friends, jill and sarah rowland sat there laughing at me. strike two for the day and that was in less than 4 hours that it happened to me again. thank god i had an extra pair of shorts and that the weather wasnt too cold for shorts weather.

shall fast forward a little... thankfully dinner went nice and smooth. no more accidents with food. gotta do some research for my persuasion paper right now. my eyes are closing soon. doesnt help that i didnt get to sleep till 3am ystd and that i havent had a nap all day. hopefully i can be productive in the next hour so that i can get to bed at 10am.

friday is almost here...

good luck to my bro and sister who are racing at ASEAN Cup. GO SAC GO!!!

2009-04-09T02:41:00.002-05:00

i m suffering from severe insomnia right now. it s 240am and i cant fall asleep. i dont know if being stressed is causing me to lose sleep. i have two tests in 6 hrs. i dont feel that prepared for my first test- mediated comm. this class really scares me. but i think i should be pretty good for my second test- drama. got most of the stuff memorised. just hope i dont blank out.

kinda sick too which blows. runny nose and nasty cough. feeling weak. ugh. i had to missed wed morning's practice cause i was too dead to get outta my bed. but i had to go to school cause i had an exam in one of my classes which went ok i think. we ll see when i get my grades back. then i went to see the doctor at 12pm. got a shot in my butt. it s to clear up my congestion. and i was prescribed with the strongest antibiotics to take. hopefully i ll start feeling better soon. went back to my room after and took a nap before trg. was really dreading practice cause i still didnt feel too well and i didnt know how i was going to get by 2hours of swimming with my head in the water all the time when i can hardly breathe on land. but then, one of the best news ever came when i walked to the locker for practice, someone started yelling... PRACTICE GOT CANCELLED TODAY CAUSE THE BULKHEAD AT THE END OF THE POOL FELL!!!! i heard that and i was no way.. i cant be that lucky. but guess what... i was really lucky cause practice did get cancelled. woohoo. awesomeness!!!! one of the best news i ve received in a LONG time. needed this the most just when i m feeling sick (: basically, the bulkhead at the end of the pool fell like a titanic ship and they had to get a crane into the building to fish the bulkhead out. and the crane was coming all the way from missouri. missouri is our neighbouring state. so we couldnt have practice. we had a 45min team meeting with our coach about swimming stuff and then we headed to lift weights in the gym and we were done by 415!!! total awesomeness. i really needed all the extra time and energy to study for my two tests which i m to have today.

gonna be a long day tmr. just how it is every tuesday and thursday. i need to decide on my topic to write for my persuasion paper, i need to design a persuasive msg on bascially anything that i want and explain the the theory which is used in persuading people to do or buy something. the biggest problem here is, i dont know what i want to work on. i dont like it when a free toic is thrown at me. i'd much rather have perimeters as to what i can do. saves me from thinking. and i m so indecisive so that doesnt help much either. if anyone has any ideas pls feel free to post them. it seriously can be about ANYTHING. and i need to start doing research on it so that i can present the first draft of my msg to my teacher tmr to make sure it s all good before writing the actual paper. i ve been doing research on the different persuasion theories just that i cant come up with my product/msg. ugh.

then.. on friday night, i have to attend ANOTHER play. 2nd play in a week. titled, "mercy seat" totally have no idea what s it on but i ll have to write a critique on this play. which brings me to, i have to also write a critique for the last play that i saw on sunday, "endgame". that play was horrible. didnt liked it at all. and let s see... over the weekend, i ll have to study for my persuasion exam on monday and also the persuasion paper is due on monday too. so tons of shit for me to do over the next few days ):

on the bright side.. only 3 more weeks of the semester to go!!!! i m trying not to think of summer school for now. take things one step at a time. i need to get better soon.

2009-04-06T22:37:00.002-05:00

list of things to do for the next one week:

drama critique paper
persuasion research paper
persuasion exam
mediated communication quiz
drama test
contemporary communication exam

boo... long list. tons to do with so little time. hate it how i had so much less stuff to do last week compared to this week. why does everything have to all come together at the same time?! this is so frustrating. i m not too happy about the fact that i had to miss George Bush's talk tonight all because i had to study. a once in a life time thing but i just had to missed it. sucks. way to start off the week. awesomeness. life has seriously just gotten better for me. NOT.

back to studying.

2009-04-01T09:00:00.002-05:00

happy april fool's!

fortunately on this day for the past years, nothing bad or silly has happened to me. i think. at least not to my recollection. if there was something, it was prob nothing much that s why i cant rmb. but oh well. just leave me alone.

yesterday was a crazy day for me. classes all day and then to practice. extremely tired. definitely feeling it this morning. super tired right now. i have class in 30 mins and i really wanna take a nap now. but i cant. however, i can take my nap in 1.5 hrs when i get done with class (:

row week this week. starts tonight. basically, fraternities invite bands/ singers to school to hold concerts and it s entirely free. i dont know who's coming this year. but the concert isnt till friday. meanwhile from now till friday, there ll just be parties at all the frat houses so you re more than welcome to join the parties. party= drinking. pretty sure or at least i cant see myself going to any cause i m so dead tired, secondly, i have way too much shit to do, thirdly, this isnt really my kind of thing and lastly, since there ll be practice on fri and sat am, there s no way i can stay up late and still make it to practice the next morning and swim well. but i m thinking, i MAY.. just may end up going for the concert on friday night. but we ll see if i m gonna be up to it then.

so.. i registered for classes for the upcoming summer and for next fall. my schedule is semi nice for the fall. i have a 3 day weekend which is awesome but tues and thurs are gonna be hell for me. this is what it looks like.

mon/wed: foreign policy of east asia 4-520pm

tues/thurs:
930-1050: communication and gender
11-1220: history of china to 1644
1230-150: environmental communication
2-320: language and society of japan

see how crazy it gets on tues and thurs? i have literally no break in between to get lunch. 4 classes back to back. and it s straight to practice after my last class at 320 ): mon, wed is kinda nice cos i only have one class and it isnt till 4. oh well. this was the best that i could figure out with my classes so i had no choice. good luck to me. but after the fall semester, i have 11 hours and then i graduate from college. 11 hrs is 4 classes. cant believe i m gonna be done soon.

oh yes.. how can i leave this out. obviously, i got some not so nice news on monday night and of course some shit like that would happen to me. i knew it was too good to be true. nothing ever falls in that nice in place for me. like seriously NEVER. but anything if there s anything bad... yes, there s always my share. this is prob the only thing that keeps my from believing in my faith. even though i m a christian, i dont really consider myself to be. just because they re alwasy saying how u should pray and that good things would come to you. but obviously that never applies to me. when i m in my darkest moments, or when i m just praying for the chance to get the slightest bit of luck or help from God, i m sorry but it fucking never happens to me. many a times, i ve been so sick of it that i m just like screw this. it never works. but at times, my mum tells me that it s because my faith isnt strong enough that s why. but as of now, i still cant see or believe it cause unless something awesome happens to me, i cant see how i can put myself entriely into this religion. i feel it s just me talking to myself and hoping for the impossible. just like a little girl dreaming of a fairytale to turn into reality. fairytales never... NEVER come true.

enough of rambling.. if there s ever when i need help or if anytime that i get any good luck, i ll post about it otherwise, i m just relying on myself. thus, as of now... i can say i m an atheist. i have to go to class now.

good luck to myself in my life.

2009-03-30T21:44:00.002-05:00

i prayed for this week to be a good week in and out of the pool.

i m feeling a tad bit scared. scared that the worst of my nightmares is gonna happen again. and i really really wish that s not going to happen. as much as i should really believe in the Lord that things will work out for me, i m still having my doubts. the feeling of fear of bad history repeating again. i m keeping my fingers crossed. please.

i dont really know if today has been a good day or not. it s prob a mix of highs and lows. i got news today that i have to wake up at 545am tmr on my sleep in morning to go for a stupid drug test at 615?! thank you so much. the morning which i actually get to sleep and i have to wake up for this dumb shit. ugh. it s definitely going to be a long long day tmr ):

gonna be registering for classes for the summer and fall tmr. please, i pray that everything will go smoothly. please. every semester has been a pain due to stupid holds on my account due to international taxes. it sucks. it s not my fault. seriously. but please... i ll be so amazed if i actually get to register for my classes on time without having to make ten million phone calls to get holds off my account.

i need something good to look forward to. as of now, i forsee this week to be a LONG one till the weekend ):

2009-03-28T22:34:00.003-05:00

i really thought this was it and then i decided to let go and take a chance but i ended up falling flat on my face. it was a mistake to begin with. i had thought things would be different from then but i guess not. i dont know if i ll ever dare to risk and take the chance again.
i have enough bruises that i dont need to fall again. what was i thinking when i thought or at least hoped that this was going to work out but not. i have to get over it but it s harder than i'd imagine. i m losing my mind. why did you have to walk into my life and mess it up?
i can't believe i m still hoping and waiting for everything to change. i m not prepared to even give up the slightest hope.

all i can say is thank you for the pain.

2009-03-26T15:20:00.002-05:00

i dont know why i still keep hanging on. i know it s time to move on and forget about it but i cant. as much as i want to, i m finding it almost close to impossible. i never knew or thought it would be this hard. i only wished if it had been different. if only i had said something else instead of leaving it hanging. why didnt i look at it from another view. there s no point regretting now cause it s over. i messed it up. the one and only time.
i feel like i dont have any direction right now cause i dont know what to do. i pray that everything will turn out right soon. i pray and ask God, to give me strength during this period of time.

i never knew it would hurt so much.

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts that had some better endings
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things, I wish I could do all all over again

2009-03-13T22:49:00.002-05:00

Today's bible verse which i totally loved: You Have It, So Say It!

Matthew 25:29
29‘For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away.

When you need something, God says that you are to ask of Him. And when you ask, believe that you receive it. (Mark 11:24) Say you already have it even if you don’t see it in the physical realm yet, and one day, you will see it!

i truly thank God for everything he has given me and i believe and i receive. i have received it. thank you God.

2009-03-13T16:00:00.002-05:00

i am so proud of my dearest brother. i got a call from my mum at breakfast this morning. i am so happy for him. i wished i was there to watch it and see it for myself. my brother is such an amazing fighter in the pool. good luck to him and my dearest sister for the rest of the meet. i ll be sitting in my room waiting for good news. will be praying hard for you guys.

spring break has officially started. 1 week of no school (:

-i never stopped believing. and i keep praying every night for the same thing.

要你相信我的爱只肯为你勇敢
如果我沉默,因为我真的爱你

2009-03-11T21:43:00.004-05:00

i miss home. i miss my family. i miss singapore, where all my loved ones are.

my lovely family

my secondary school buddies

my dearest friend whom i only get to see once a year ):

i m missing home terribly. i wanna go home. i wanna be at home with everyone. doesnt mean that your picture isnt up here means i dont miss you. i miss everyone at home.

i feel scared. the sense of fear. i turn to God for strength. i just keeping praying that everything will be alright. please let it be. make the my dream come true. please. i feel like i m losing my mind. i feel so alone in a distant land ):

2009-03-10T21:14:00.002-05:00

busy week before spring break..

wed- contemporary communication theories exam

thurs-
drama- costume and design setting project
mediated communication- mid term exam
media violence- assignment due

thursday is going to be such a nightmare for me. i dont know how i m gonna pull everything off but i hope or say i have to some how. i dont have a choice. God, pls give me the strength and guide me through this.

i need to find sometime to work out.

2009-03-06T21:54:00.001-06:00

thank you lord, it worked tonight. just that i dont know if it s going to be good enough. but as of now i m just happy. just once more for tmr to finish it up. and i ask of you to be with me.

2009-03-06T13:09:00.001-06:00

i am praying that everything will go my way tonight. please just make it happen for once. just once. tonight. make my day. i hope my prayers will be heard.

2009-02-26T17:57:00.002-06:00

i am so close to throwing myself off a cliff right now. or maybe even so close to having a mental breakdown. there s just been too much happening over the past few days. i just wanna close my eyes and shut everything. i just wish for everything to end now.

2009-02-25T17:12:00.002-06:00

i hate it when all you need is a little luck to make things happen but it never comes my way. i guess it s just not meant to be. as much as i hate to accept the fact, i guess it's a sign. i m so terribly pissed off right now. why cant i just have some luck once in awhile? or even just this one time. but no... of course it never works out the way i want to. damn it. if i could, i would punch someone in the face right now to vent this pent up anger. aaargh!!!!!

also... how long does it take to reply a simple text? or even how hard is it? maybe that s why i m so pissed. i swear... i could so punch someone now. maybe that s wht i need. i m going insane. pretty sure about that.

past few days of crazy studying havent helped me at all. and this phase of crazy studying is not about to go away just yet. it s gonna last all the way till next week. wow wee. i m so excited. i m probably this close to blowing out my brains at the moment.

on a slightly brighter note... T.I concert in less than 3 hours!!!!

- when your close girl friend decides to choose someone over you, that someone is definitely a guy or else, you just aint close after all. fuck that!

2009-02-24T22:18:00.002-06:00

T.I. concert tickets ...

i cant wait for T.I's concert tmr night!!! just what i need to relax and take my mind off studying. these past 48hours have been crazy studying for me.

2009-02-15T23:12:00.002-06:00

just got done with packing. i m travelling to auburn, alabama tmr for our South Eastern Conference (SEC) Swim meet. it s the biggest meet of the entire college season. actually i lied... it s the second cause the biggest is NCAA. but for people like me who probably wouldnt have much chance of making NC's, this is the biggest one for me. meet starts on wed and lasts till saturday. we re leaving tmr morning and flying through memphis. and we have to dress smartly for travel tmr. no sweats or jeans. it has to be formal wear. this is the first time we re actually dressing up for travel. i m kinda excited for the meet. i hope i ll do well and in the process of achieving some best times tht i ll knock some school records out and see my name on the school record board (:
and i m hoping as a team, we ll do really well and achieve our goal of coming in top 5 this year.

GO HOGS GO!!!

2009-02-14T22:23:00.003-06:00

happy valentine's day!!!

yet another valentine's day without a man. but oh well. i had fun with my lovely ladies, jill and gina. we had a threesome date together. we were all dressed up. courtney did my hair for me. we added curls into my usually straight hair. it looked really crazy. totally not used to it. i think i look better with straight hair. so we werent planning on dressing up for our date and intending on going out in our usual outfit of sweats but then after i had my hair done, i was gonna look like a total retard if i didnt so i borrowed an entire outfit from summer. and that s how the 3 of us ended up having to dress up just because of my hair. haha.

after practice in the afternoon, me, summer, gina and courtney went over to summer's apartment to chill. well... courtney was going over to help do summer s hair cause she had a date with her bf. and me and gina were just chilling cause we were gonna go out later in the night. so as we had time to spare... that was how i ended up experimenting and got my hair curled. so... i know this post is kinda messed up cause i m going back and forth here but i dont care. not like many people are gonna read is anyway. just as long as i understand wht i m writing, it s all good. so me and gina went to the dorms to pick jill out to go on our threesome date. we caught the movie- the reader. it was kinda bizzare. and felt kinda long to me but it wasnt that bad. then we headed to red robins to dinner. and we had the fastest dinner ever cause service was so prompt. we finished our dinner in 30mins and was outta there.

1 more day till we leave for alabama for our SEC meet. it s our biggest meet of the season. it s our championship meet. i m really excited to see how fast i can go. hopefully i ll be able to do some good times and in the process take some school records down at the same time. we leave on monday and the meet starts on wednesday and lasts till sat. we get back on sunday. means, i m gonna be missing a whole week of school. yay!! or maybe not cause i ll have to do major catch up when i come back. i ll be missing 1 test and 2 exams while i m gone. and i m gonna have to make them up once i come back. this sucks. i m gonna have to do studying while i m there :(
gonna be packing all sunday. making sure i have all my stuff and also going to go for a lossen up swim in the afternoon. oh yes... we got shirts printed just for us 4 in the sprint group- me, gina, summer and courtney and our coach, todd. it s really nice. plain and simple but means so much.

ok... back tracking a little... i caught confessions of a shopaholic with summer and gina yesterday. it s such a good chick flick. i laughed till my cheeks were hurting so badly. haha. totally loved the part of her dancing with the fan. it was hilarious.

and the movie i caught today... the reader which stars kate winslet in it.

2009-02-08T11:33:00.003-06:00

great movie. i loved it. as i was watching it, i went, hmm.. some parts of this remind me of myself. gasp. but obviously the happy ending thing never applies to me so whatever. caught it yesterday with maddie, courtney and sarah howard. nothing better than a relaxing saturday outing. i think i ve never seen that many movies in a short span of 2 months but i m loving in. or even, i dont think i ve ever seen that many movies in one year. haha.

i did my laundry late last night and someone stole one side of my favorite adidas sock. it s reversible some more ok? i m so upset. i hope it ll somehow appear in the laundry room again. today is going to be a busy day doing homework. i have tons to do. and i need to make a run to the grocery store too to get a carton of water. my water supply is running low. but i dont feel like making a trip outta my room. which means i need to dress up- putting on a sweat shirt, long pants, socks and shoes. it s too much of a hassle for me. so as of now... the plan would be to sit in my bed with my computer on my lap doing my homework.

2009-02-06T01:07:00.002-06:00

last home meet of the season against drury later today at 6pm.
cant believe how fast this season has gone by. it s the 2009 senior's final dual meet of their lives. i m kinda sad that they ll be leaving. there will be 7 seniors graduating this year. the one swimmer i m going to miss the most outta all of them will be summer. my beloved training sprint group partner. i dont knw what am i going to do without her next year in the pool. actually i alrd cant imagine what it ll be like not seeing her at all not at the pool after our championship meet. my trg buddy is leaving me ): i m so thankful that i got to know her in my life. she s someone who has allowed me to learn so much while coming to the US. she s amazing!!!
well... last home meet, we re on target to a 10-1 season if we beat drury tmr. it ll be the most win we ve ever had as a swimming program. it ll be totally awesome to cap the end of the dual meet season with a final win in front of the home crowd tonight.
even though i m swimming the dreaded 200back, i m just going to stop moaning abt it and just have fun swimming it. cause it ll be or at least i hope, a long time before i have to swim it again.
so pls God, let us have a successful meet tmr and come out top against drury.

i know it s totally an unearthly hour of 1am and i totally should be asleep since i have trg tmr morning and i have to be up at 440am but i cant sleep to save my life. i m not too happy about that. i went to bed at ten and woke up at 12pm. i tossed and turned for 40 mins. went to the bathroom and then decided to blog. but i m gonna try and get some sleep once i m done here.

Go Hogs Go! Beat Drury!!!

2009-02-04T21:14:00.003-06:00

i cant believe i m sitting here typing this cause i m totally suppose to be studying for my test tmr. i m not having much luck studying at all cause my brain is failing me or say it doesnt wanna cooperate with me ): not too happy about that. obviously. it s alrd 915pm and i dont wanna go to bed too late, staying up trying to study. i have a long day in school tmr so i ll need all the rest i can get for the night. all i can say is, i m so screwed for the test tmr. way to go. had an exam today in one of my classes. dont really knw how that will go but i dont have a good feeling about it ): gosh... my communication classes are killing me. i ll be curious to see what my GPA will be this semester -_- i m gonna probably kill myself if i dont get at least a 3.5 so that better come somehow. ugh. i feel so stupid cause i cant seem to study now. aargh. i wanna rip me book apart!!!!

2009-02-01T01:25:00.002-06:00

caught gran torino today. great movie. made me cry towards the end. it was really touching.

earlier on of saturday was spent having breakfast at ihop with jill, gina, summer, katie whitbeck, sarah howard, alison templin and jessie after morning training. after tht was back to the dorms to take my usual saturday nap. after my nap, made a quick trip to wal mart to grab some necessitites before going for the movie at 420pm. after movie, courtney, sarah howard and me made a stop at the mall since we had time to spare before dinner. bought a pair of stud earrings so tht i can wear during trg. went on to have dinner at a sushi place called 'wasabi' near campus which was amazing as usual to spend jill's birthday. after dinner, we headed to maggie moos for ice cream which i had cotton candy ski jump. the color of the ice cream was baby blue together with m n ms and marshmellows. interesting combination. as a result, i had a blue mouth and stained blue teeth after my sinful indulgence. i must remember never to have tht should i ever go on a date with a guy. haha. after getting back, i did laundry. and time check, it was 10pm. but i did it anw cause there wasnt anyone to fight for the washers with me. doing laundry on sunday is seriously a nightmare. so as of now, i have clean clothes and fresh sheets (:

school was out for 4 days last week due to the ice storm that we had. i only went to school on monday. totally awesome. it was a long extended break for us. the ice storm hit us pretty bad on monday night. so many trees fell because it couldnt hold the weight of the ice on it s branches. there s wreckage everywhere. people's electricity were cut off due to trees falling on the cable lines. some of my team mates did not have power since tues and only got it back this morning (sat). so one of my team mate, summer, has been living with me in the dorms. my coaches' houses had their power cut off too. thank god those living in the dorms were not affected. the weather has actually gotten real nice since thurs. today was amazing, it was nice out and i could actually wear my slippers out. but obviously it got cold again towards the night. hopefully, this would be the last cold front we ll be getting. cant wait for spring to come. the roads around campus are kinda a mess now with fallen trees and branches everywhere. a lot of cleaning has been taking place over the last 2 days to clear up roads to get ready for school on monday. wonder how long it ll take to clear all of that wreckage. it s no joke a huge mess. picture a tornado sweeping through the town. it s somewhat like that just tht the houses are intact and so are cars.

havent studied at all since school closed on monday. gonna be doing some major studying tmr eventhough it s a sunday to get ready for school. one last dual meet of the season against drury next friday. not really looking forward to it. my events explain everything. i m still trying not to believe them until i see the actual line up sheet. try and get my hopes up a little for now. pls pls pls. make it good. somehow.

2009-01-27T18:02:00.000-06:00

the ice on the tree right outside my window...

closer look...

2009-01-27T17:49:00.002-06:00

school got closed today (tues)!!! due to the ice storm that we had. it s kinda crazy outside esp the trees. there s ice all over the tree. and some trees have given way just because the branches couldnt hold the weight of the ice on it and just broke. and there are those little trees that have ice all over it and the entire tree is practically drooping over. but it s actually kinda nice looking at the trees with the ice on it. i took a picture of the tree right outside my window. shall upload it later and post it up here. so since school was cancelled today due to the bad weather... and i ve been doing a pretty good job of not falling while walking outside, we still had to go for training in the afternoon. that is how hard core my coaches are. they came to pick us up from the dorms to go for trg. and while we were swimming, the lights were out for 10mins but we just kept going. and we finished the entire training. the only thing we got out off was dryland. we didnt have to run. which was good. cause i hate running.

hopefully the weather gets better tmr. having the walk out on ice is really scary and all i need to do now is stay safe just before my championship meet which is less than a month away. maybe school might be closed again tmr? well, at least my first class is cancelled so i get to sleep in since our morning trg tmr got pushed to thurs instead.

happy chinese niu year!

2009-01-25T17:23:00.003-06:00

this post is kinda outdated. but i ll still post anyhow.
we beat kansas on thursday by 35 points. it was awesome (:
best race was the 200medley relay. i love relays. esp 50's. teaming up with ting, leah, and, katies kastes, we recorded the 4th fastest time in arkansas history in that events. we beat kansas in that event which was really unexpected. but it definitely was good for us cause it got everyone pumped up and ready to race. also, i know it s pathetic but it s our first relay win of the year (: one more home meet to go against drury on feb 6th. apparently there ll be no 100 races so i wonder wht i m gonna swim. i can see the 200bk heading towards me which i m not looking forward to it at all. i literally embarass myself everytime i swim tht race. ugh. pls let me swim something else like 200im. at least i wont be drowning as much as the 200back.

so based on singapore time, it s chinese new year now. 2nd year spending it away from home. kinda sucks. missing out on delicious reunion dinner =/ and of course, not being able to receive red packets =/ but i m glad tht my parents sent me a box of new year goodies for me. yay!!! i m really enjoying all of it. but i really do miss having steamboat reunion dinner ):

the weather has been really cold. i mean, duh.. it s winter. but still, i dont like it at all. not one bit. hate having to bundle up layers. oh... and i heard it s suppose to ice really badly tonight, so maybe school might be closed tmr. not too happy abt class being closed on monday cause i love my mon,wed,fri classes. if school has to close, i'd rather it be a tues,thurs class. but... maybe if it ices really badly, maybe not morning trg tmr? bah... i dont think so tht would happen. there would definitely still be trg for sure. bleah. i wanna go to class though.

anyhow... i did major cleaning up of my room today (sunday). couldnt take the messy sight of my room. it was embarassing when pple walked into my room. it s as though a tornado had just swept through it. so i decided to do major cleaning which i havent done in a long time. to think of it, it s like spring cleaning. just before chinese new year. haha. whatever it is, i m so glad tht my room is so neat and tidy now. it s totally different from yesterday. hopefully i can keep up with this clean appearance. feels awesome to have such a neat and tidy room with a none cluttered study table. i m so proud of myself for cleaning today (:

pls do not let it ice tmr. ice on monday night so school can be cancelled on tues. pls pls pls. i wanna go to class tmr. pls allow school to be possible on monday!!!

2009-01-21T18:39:00.002-06:00

swim meet against kansas tmr. i do hope we ll win. a convincing win. it ll just be awesome if we can go the rest of the season undefeated. well we lost our first duel meet to tennessee at the beginning of the year. but after tht, we ve been on a winning streak. so i do hope we ll keep tht up to finish the season. it ll be awesome. we have one more after kansas- against drury. so pls God, let us post a win tmr.

i dont really knw wht to expect outta my swims tmr. havent exactly been feeling tht good in the water this week. a little worrying but oh well. i ll jus take whtever tht comes tmr. i just need to do my best and not let my team down. i need to starting psyching myself up so tht i can bring my A game tmr. gonna need it right off the first relay.

GO HOGS GO!!! BEAT KANSAS TMR!!!

2009-01-17T22:54:00.003-06:00

conclusion of week one of second semester junior year. tired.

classes i m taking this semester are:

communication theories
persuasion
media violence
mediated communications
drama lecture

the class which i enjoy the most so far has gotta be persuasion. it s boring but i enjoy it somehow (:

after being not in school for awhile, it s kinda tiring having to go to school and train at the same time. i ve been going to bed ard 9pm almost every other night. or else it s not later than 945pm. it s considered early considering i usually dont go to bed till ard 1030pm.

so glad that the weekend is here. gotta catch up on my sleep and also on my hw. i ve tons of reading to do for my classes. cant afford to fall back at such an early stage or else i ll be screwed for the rest of the semester. no school on monday. yay! and no yay, cause i ll be missing out on going for persuasion class ): anyhow, it s a public holiday to commemorate martin luther king day.

after beating missouri and kentucky last saturday, arkansas swimming and diving has officially and finally moved up the rankings. we re currently ranked 19th in the nation. woohoo. 3 spots up from 22nd tht we ve been at for the longest time ever.
swim meet against kansas on thursday. hopefully nothing goes wrong and it ll be a win and then may be we ll get to move up again (:

2009-01-11T15:58:00.002-06:00

our song

那一年默默無言只能選擇離開
無邪的笑容已經不再精采
你害怕結局所以拚命傷害
說是我擋住你的美好未來

你堅決不希望我等待
我便默默的讓你走開
如今你受了傷回來
叫我如何接受這安排

我難過的是
放棄你放棄愛放棄的夢被打碎忍住悲哀
我以為是成全
你卻說你更不愉快

我難過的是
忘了你忘了愛盡全力忘記我們真心相愛
也忘了告訴你失去的不能重來

as i listened i thought of you. miss you.

2009-01-11T14:36:00.002-06:00

we beat missouri and kentucky!!! woohoo!
i m super happy about it. it was sweet revenge. i had the best meet ever this season in terms of doing in season best and having my first win of the season too (:

starting school tmr. first day of school of 2nd semester of junior year. hopefully it ll be a good semester.

gonna enjoy the rest of my sunday.

peace.

2009-01-09T19:50:00.003-06:00

movie marathon this week before school starts...

wednesday- curious case of benjamin button

thursday- yes man and marley and me

friday- bride wars

i ve never watched that many movies in a week. well.. not even in a month. haha. but it was awesome. i had so much fun. and not to mention, we snucked in to marley and me so we didnt even have to pay for it. after watching yes man, we had about 25mins to spare so we just hung out in the bathroom to waste time. hence the free movie ticket. haha. it was so much fun. if i had to rank which movies i liked best it would be in this order:

1. bride wars

2. curious base of benjamin button

3. yes man

4. marley and me

probably not going to the movies for awhile. i think. we ll see about that though. haha. i really wanna watch confessions of a shopaholic and a definite must see- x-men: wolverine!!!!

swim meet tmr (sat)!!!! against our arch rivals, missouri and conference foe, kentucky. it s going to be such a crazy meet tmr. i really really hope we win cause we got cheated last year by missouri. long story but we lost to them by 2 points!!! so hopefully it ll be pay back time this round. if there s anything, we re not gonna care as much abt winning/losing to kentucky as much as beating missouri!!!! aargh!!!! we need to do it tmr which i really really hope we do. God, pls let us come out of the meet on the right side tmr.

school starts on monday and i m really excited to be back in school again (: i think i m crazy. haha.

2009-01-03T22:34:00.003-06:00

too many things to say that i dont know where to start so i ll just let a picture sum up my thoughts for now. i m too lazy for a detailed update. but here's a picture of pro WWE wrestler, John Cena!!! how cool is that? i met him on our way back from christmas training at the Ft. Lauderdale Airport. There were at least another 10 wrestlers but i couldnt recognise all of them. just to name a few that i could recognise, shawn michaels, mr mcmahon, shad, william regal, and, randy orton. it was so crazy seeing them in real life. i gotta admit i was kinda star struck. it was literally meeting a hollywood star. and needless to say, they re all so big and buff. just check out their arm muscles. it was like wow... randy orton had no doubt the nicest tattoos. gosh.. it was mesmirising. it wouldve have been nice to take pictures with all of them but i was really scared. so one was more than enough for me (:

i still cannot believe that i actually got to see them in real life. it feels like a dream. and... they were on the same plane with us. this is so unbelievable.

2008-12-31T20:18:00.004-06:00

i am so hating life right now. christmas training sucks ass. i just wanna leave now. i m in so much pain. i hate everything. i m so sick of it. all the stupid drama and some stupid team mates. i try and tell myself to stay positive but for once i m finding it almost impossible.
doesnt help that i had the worst birthday of my life being stuck at trg camp. my 20th birthday... the one and most hateful one tht i will never forget.
new year's... not gonna get any better. 100x100's. wtf. my shoulder is alrd hurting like a motherf***er. it s definitely gonna fall off tmr. and with my coaches... there s no way i m gonna be able to sit out of it. i know everyone is hurting and sore now but heck with others. my shoulder has never hurt tht badly before. the trainer just says it s sore. as though there s really nothing to it. but i know my body... i know there s something wrong with it. if my shoulder takes a turn for the worst (which i hope not.. keeping my fingers crossed) i m gonna so f***ing pissed. i seriously hate me life so much now. sucks ass. i m so done. i just wanna throw in the towel now and walk away.
happy new year? f*** there s nothing happy abt it.

2008-12-24T16:49:00.002-06:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

cant believe it s christmas once again. this year's christmas is so different for me but i m loving it anyhow. i m having an awesome time in Orlando with the Haskins family. i really love spending time with them. at this time of the year, i miss my family even more than ever. i wish i was home with you guys. do have fun without me, i know u guys will (:

so ever since my exams were over since last tuesday, i ve started on my reading spree. since last wednesday, i ve been reading the entire series of twilight. i ve finished the first book and just finished the second book- new moon. i ll be starting on the 3rd one like once i get off the computer. haha.

well... i ll be posting pictures sometime soon of my disney world trip. i had so much fun despite the large crowd which caused us to be able to only go on 3 rides. anyhow... merry christmas people.

with love,
lyn

2008-12-19T21:50:00.002-06:00

finally... one more practice tmr morning and i ll be leaving for sunny Orlando, Florida!!!!
cant wait to be able to wear my tank tops, shorts and slippers. i miss the sun.
one more practice.. pls let me survive and make it go by fast. kinda happy tht i managed to last till now. haha. but i m not too happy tht we re ending off with IM practice tmr. i hate IM practice. it s the worst since i cant swim IM all thanks to my butt slow breast stroke. totally get slaughtered during the breast stroke leg. and it doesnt really help much that most of my team mates are pretty good at IM so i m always one of the last at the back. oh well. just one more. one more. i can do it.

1 day to Orlando
6 days to Christmas
10 days till i turn 20!!!

2008-12-18T19:03:00.005-06:00

3.8 GPA!!! woohoo (: i got my A in world lit and i m so happy. 5A's and 1 B. thank you communications class for spoiling my otherwise perfect 4.0 GPA. i did really well on the final for communications. i scored a 91 and it was the 3rd highest in the class. but i had to mug 3 days for it which totally fried my brain. but because i didnt do well in the first 2 exams, it really hurt my grade. but oh well. i ll take that B. consistancy is super important in uni. each and every test counts towards the final grade.

we went to do community work after morning practice. the diving coach had chopped up a ton of wood so we had to load them into 2 trucks and went to deliver them to 2 houses. the first house tht we stopped at, was at a single mum's home. the wood was for them to stay warm in the winter and the second house was this guy who's wife had just passed away and he had to take care of 6 kids all by himself. it s really sad. even though it took away 2 hours of my rest time but it was worth it helping these people.

ok... this is gonna be short post. i am so exhausted from training. i may head to bed soon. and it s only 710pm.

oh yes and my pan wei bo cd is here already!!!! as expected, it s on repeat on my itunes playlists (: thank you jane!!!

2008-12-17T21:40:00.002-06:00

so i ended up doing doubles today (wed) because we had a guilt talk by our coaches in the morning. and i actually surprised myself by having 2 awesome... not good but awesome practices in a row. i m really proud of myself. after practice in the afternoon was kinda a landmine by the pool cause the coaches were pulling pple out and having a talk regarding not making enough practices during the exam week. it was really scary. plus the coaches have some of our results from our exams and some pple did really horribly so it was kind of a nightmare. my coaches are psycho not only in swimming but also in studies. so i cant imagine how they re gonna be when they get all of our grades in on fri. pretty sure our team's GPA this semester is gonna be horrible. like a 3.1? gosh... that seriously sucks considering our team GPA average last year was a 3.5 and we were i think top 3 highest GPA in the nation. impressive eh... haha. oh well.

i got more results today, 4 A's and 1B. waiting for one more final grade- world lit. if i get an A in that, my GPA would be a 3.8 if not wrong and if i get a B, it will be a 3.6 so we ll see how that goes. i m keeping my fingers crossed. let s hope it ll be good news (:

so.. i guess our hell month starts tmr morning. i cant imagine how bad it s gonna be. considering what a bad mood the coaches were in this afternoon. it s gonna suck tmr morning ): ugh.
oh well. just 5 more practices till we leave this dreaded fayetteville. and i ll be heading to sunny Orlando. i cant wait!!!

now that finals are over, i ve started reading twilight (: and i love the book! i m definitely getting the twilight dvd when it comes out.

3 days to Orlando
8 days to Christmas
12 days till my birthday (:
15 days till 2009!!!

2008-12-16T16:53:00.002-06:00

i am done with my finals! yay! finally! didnt think this day would ever come. for some reason this semester of school has been kinda tough with crazy classes that i have homework in everday. but i m so glad it s all over. all i know is, next semester is gonna be way harder since i m taking 4/5 classes which are my specialised major classes. but oh well. now, to enjoy my break from school and i can worry about school later.

so i ve gotten 3/6 of my grades back from my classes. so far so good. 3 A's. and i definitely know i m getting a B in my interpersonal communications class. sadly. so i wont be able to get my 4.0 GPA this semster. but hopefully if all goes well and depending on how i do on my world lit final, i may end up with a 3.8 GPA which is still good enough for me. cant wait for the grades to be out. should be out in 2 days time.

now that nightmare school is over. nightmare swimming is waiting for me. since it has been finals wekk, i havent been training much and i know i m so gonna regret it when i return the pool for nightmare training. and it officially starts on thurs. doubles on thurs and fri and then single on sat am before we leave for a 6 day break from our coaches. even though it s only 2 and a half days of training, no doubt it s gonna be hell. during the 6 day break from our coaches, i ll be flying to Orlando to spend christmas with megan and her family but while i m there, it s no entirely all play and no work cause we re still suppose to keep up with our training and train at least 5 times. cause after that 6 days, we ll be meeting in fort lauderdale for our hell week christmas training camp. 27th dec to 3rd jan. gosh... i dont even wanna think about it. we have doubles every single day. shoot me. but really.. i need to get my this fat ass body back into shape. with our championship meet less than 2 months away, i need to pull my shit together.

hopefully when i return to practice tmr (wed), my coach wouldnt be helling at me. please just let me survive. tmr(wed) is our last official day of exams. so how this works is, during the one week of finals, our coaches are not allowed to force us to come to practice cause academics first so even if u missed practice they arent suppose to yell at you or anything cause practices are all optional. so tmr is the official last day of slacking around and missing trg without being yelled at. after that, all hell breaks loose. since i havent been training as much as they coaches would have wanted me to, i m going to practice once tmr morning and then enjoy my afternoon before i prepare to die in the pool.

good luck to me then.

i am pissed that my mail from jane is taking FOREVER to get here. she mailed it to me 2 tuesdays ago and i ve yet to receive it. it s been 2 weeks alrd!!!! damn... how long does it take for a mail to be sent from singapore to arkansas. i guess it s probably ulu arkansas and the mail man cant find the place that s why it s taking so long. it s driving me insane checking my mail everyday but not seeing it in my mailbox. aargh!!!

it feels so good to be done with finals. taiwanese drama movie marathon from now onwards (:
any recommendations on good ones? let me know (:

2008-12-14T20:41:00.002-06:00

caught twilight after my math final on saturday. gotta say i loved it cause i havent read the book yet. i m gonna start reading the book after my final on tues. my friend has alrd lent me the book and it s sitting on my table waiting for me. but i m not gonna start till tuesday. i know this movie has a lot of mixed reviews. most people who read the book before seeing the movie didnt like the movie but i really liked it cause i didnt read the book just yet. caught the movie with summer, gina, and courtney. sprint group!!!

2008-12-14T20:35:00.002-06:00

math final on saturday was so horrible. it was so hard. even though i only needed to get a 62 to maintain my A in the class, i dont even have the confidence of getting that 62. i hope the teacher curves the paper or smth. oh well. i m just glad it s over. hopefully that s the last math exam i ll ever have to take in my life. i ll still be happy with a B. one more final to go , world lit and i m so lazy to study for it. i m so done with studying. this tiny brain of mine cant absorb anything more. it s done. it needs a break. a good break. i just need to hang in there till tues. all i need is a B in that class. i should get tht just as long as i dont screw up the final. please, just let me pull through the next 2 days. almost there. so near yet so far.

i dont know why but i m missing home so much more this year than last year. i dont like this. i feel like i m going crazy soon. i m in my second year of school here. i dont even wanna think abt next year, which is my final year. am i going to be able to pull thru and be done with studying and swimming here? i dont know. all i know is i wanna be home. i miss home way too much. i need my family and friends by me. the feeling of being so far away from everyone is driving me crazy. i wanna be home NOW.

2008-12-10T12:38:00.002-06:00

done with communications finals. thank God. it was such a pain studying for that. 3 days straight studying the same thing over and over again. totally drive me crazy.

no more classes till jan 12th!!! left with 2 finals.

saturday: math
next tue: world lit

i was suppose to have a physics final next tues but i dont have to take it cause i have an A in the class alrd, so i could bail out of it. awesomeness (: one less class to study for. even though i only have 2 papers left, there s so much to prepare for world lit. tons of reading to do for tht class ): for math... i m just doing all of my homework questions again to prepare for the final. that math final is on a saturday at 3pm!!! how weird a time is that?

cant wait for finals to be over. actually... shorter goal... cant wait for math to be over. right after my math final, i m going with courtney and summer to watch twilight (: i m zooming out of the class right after i m done with it. after movie, we have a 'ugly sweater party' at one of my team mates' house. we re suppose to wear our christmas sweaters to the party. it s gonna be interesting. i have mine all prepared. who would think my sweater would come in handy. i rmb a year ago when my mum asked me to pack this knitted sweater to bring along with me, i was like, i dont think i m gonna wear tht. i have too much stuff anw. but she made me bring it along anw. i only wore it once. in my room. when i was sick and was freezing cold. haha. i never wore it out. i never dared too. so i guess, it s coming in handy now and this sat, it ll be going out with me for a night. haha.

ok... time to hit the books AGAIN!!!

2008-12-07T10:13:00.005-06:00

caught four christmases last night with sarah howard, courtney and erin. it was a good movie. really funny but it wasnt too christmasy as i thought it was going to be.

exams are starting this coming week. with my first on tuesday which is a totaly nightmare for me. interpersonal communications!!! i spent 5 hours in the library yesterday studying. 2-7pm. i could have gone on studying but my stomach wasnt cooperating with me. i was so hungry thus i went back to eat. didnt study after eating though. haha. i figured it was enough studying for the day. so i just relaxed in my room before heading out to watch the 930pm movie of four christmases. 4 hours was spent on 2 chapters of communications and 1 hr was spent doing my essays for 2 of my other classes. cant believe 2 chapters actually took that long. i hope with all the studying tht i am doing for this class, i d better do really well for the final or i ll be pissed. i dont usually study on saturdays at all. it s my chill and relax day where i watch dramas all day long but because of this final, i actually spent 5 hrs studying. oh well... it'd better be worth it. PLEASE!!! looks like i m gonna be spending my day in the library again today.

tuesday- communications final
saturday- math final
tuesday- world lit and physics final

and then i m done with studying for the rest of the year (: seriously cant wait for that.

9 days till my last exam
13 days till i leave for orlando
18 days till christmas
22 days till my 20th birthday!
forever till i go back to singapore ):

2008-12-02T10:30:00.002-06:00

i finished watching 不良笑花 on sunday! (: and i loved it even though i didnt really like the ending. it kinda bothered me somewhat but it was a good drama overall. i am so in love with 潘瑋柏!!! he s so extremely hot!!!

anyhow... final exams are coming up. next week. actually i had my first one ystd. but most of it starts next week. this week is so crazy for me. i have something going on everyday except for me except today (tues).

monday- physics lab final
tuesday- nothing. but tons of studying
wednesday- physics and music lecture tests
thursday- communications quiz and math test
friday- world lit presentation

next week:
tuesday- communications final
saturday- math final

i really need to ace the physics and music tests on wednesday cause if i do that, i wont have to take the finals for both of tht classes which will save me a lot of studying. so i m cramming everything in today to make sure i get my A's in the tests for tmr!!!! communications final is going to be a pain studying for it since i havent been doing tht well in that class no matter how much i study -_- so there goes my 4.0 GPA for this semester. ugh. thank you communications class!!! hate it. ugh ugh ugh.

ok.. time to head for my next and final class for today before my studying marathon starts.

2008-11-27T21:03:00.003-06:00

happy thanksgiving!!!

2nd day in missouri with the neumann family. it has been great fun.

woke up at 610am for 7am morning practice. swam till around 930am. i trained with erin's club team, parkway west. we kinda slacked off a little today cause we did the taper set even though we werent tapering for anything. it was a good 2000 yards lesser than the other set. and i didnt feel like swimming so much on a holiday. and so did erin so we did the shorter set. thank god for that. but tmr morning, we ll be trg as per normal. no more skiving ): i m hoping it s not gonna be that hard. i need a good break now for my old body. ugh.

after trg, we came back and had breakfast. then, i took a shower and took a nap. it felt so good. after my nap, we set at the table looking at sales in catalogues to see if we wanted to get anything in particular when we go for post thanksgiving shopping today. the day after thanskgiving is always the best to go shopping cause apparently, things are really really cheap. like about half off or more. so i saw a couple of stuff tht i wanna get but we ll see if i actually get it cause i need to save up my money for disney world in dec (:

then, my other team mate/ my room mate, shara, who s also from missouri came to pick me up in her car to go over to her place that was abt 15mins drive away. her family is so big and her house is just amazing. she has 5 siblings. 3 sisters and 2 brothers. she s the oldest. and they re all so close as a family. her cousins were over also. 4 boys and 1 girl. it was a crazy party going on there. and another family had actually left earlier and tht family had 2 boys. it was such a crowd but i loved it. i had lunch at her house and then we headed out to play football. yes.. football as in american football not soccer. since it was my first time playing, it was kinda weird but i had fun anyway. it s so hard to throw and catch a football. it somehow just feels so much different. haha.

then shara drove me back to erin s place where we had our thanksgiving dinner. it was so good. the food was delicious. we had mashed sweet potatoes, baked potatoes, greens beans, fruit salad, stuffing, and obviously the not to be missed dish... turkey. the turkey was so tasty. i loved dinner (: after dinner, we played a board game, sequence. it s something like connect four just that u played with cards. it was really fun. after which, we watched tv and had pumpkin pie and apple pie for dessert. it was so yummy (:

so tmr is going to be shopping day. i m hoping to get some good deals at shopping (: but before all of that, i have to got ove with am trg first ): oh yes.. and for thanksgiving, some stores actually open at 4am!!!! yes.. 4am. how crazy is that. haha. oh well... that s enough of an update for today.

- crazy i am but is it actually possible for a dream to come true?

2008-11-26T19:56:00.003-06:00

i m currently in st louis, missouri. i m spending thanksgiving over one my team mate, erin's, house. so i m gonna be here till sunday. it was a 6 hour drive from fayetteville. we left right after wed am practice at around 820am and got to her place at 220pm.

just had dinner at a pizza place. it was good. it s only 8pm but i m feeling so tired alrd. i m so ready for bed. and we have practice at 7am tmr. oh.. and tmr is thanksgiving.

anyhow... i know this is random but i ve decided that i m not gonna get married unless it is to pan wei bo. gosh. he s so cute. i LOVE him. he can sing, dance, rap, act, super funny, hot. what more can u ask out of a guy. he's PERFECT! i know i m crazy. haha. but who cares. i m gonna marry him!!!

2008-11-24T22:12:00.003-06:00

i m so screwed for my math test. i dont know how to do anything at all. graphing into the calculator, figuring out formulas... i feel like killing myself now. this is too hard for me. i dont know what to do. there goes my A for this math class ): i hate this. the next few weeks are going to be hell in the classroom. numerous tests, finals, studying, studying and more studying. i m not looking forward to it.

i want to go home. back home to sunny singapore.

2008-11-23T11:17:00.002-06:00

miss no good is the latest taiwanese drama that i m watching and it's hilarious. can't stop laughing. and yes.. wilber pan is so cute (: love his character in the show and esp when they show the bloopers, it totally cracks me up. if i m not wrong, this is his first time acting in a drama so he had more NGs then everyone else and ends up being laughed at most of the time by the cast. and he is such a joker. well.. i m on episode 11 now. i watched 11 episodes in 2 days. haha.. i m crazy but who cares. i need some essence of this to keep me alive and sane here.

i know i havent been blogging much. i ve been rather busy or u can also say lazy cos i spend my free time watching taiwanese dramas rather than spend some time to update my blog. school has been kinda crazy. somehow, this semester has been kinda hard. esp with the crazy ass math class which i m taking that has homework every freaking day. it s just so torturous. ugh. swimming is well.. the same as usual. always hard. but we leave here for thanksgiving after wed am practice. this year, i m not staying in boring fayetteville by myself to spend thanksgiving. i m following one of team mates, erin, home to spend thanksgiving with her family. i m really excited to meet her family and spend thanksgiving with them. hopefully they wont find me a bore. also, i just cant wait to get out of here. it s just too boring. need something new to keep me going. i m ready to go back home to singapore anytime. home is always the best.

i miss my lil' sister so much. esp when i m watching these taiwanese drama. i love talking to her about it and watching it together with her cause she calls me crazy everytime i start commenting the show to myself by criticising the actor/director or simply just burst out laughing. i got so engrossed in them whenever i watch them. i know i m crazy. but i really wanna go live in taiwan next time. i think. haha. yes.. so now that i m so freaking ass far away from home, it s just so hard to be like before where i could just talk to her anytime i want. i m so ready to go home. this school year has been way too long for me ):

lyn misses home home home ):

2008-11-11T22:19:00.002-06:00

i am done watching hot shot and i love it!!!!

i love the ending and i love jerry yan :D