Designer:
bolong'
Image:
kil1k
dreyyy90
eXsanguinousCorpse
Brushes:
~tiffcali06
Code Reference:
manikka
Editing:
Photoshop CS2.

in the midst of finals week now but i am taking some time off to post. i m actually in the library now working on my paper and studying for a final tmr. i ve been really productive in my paper and i m sooooooo happy about it. that s the only reason why i can take some time off to blog now :) studying has been pretty stressful period. i dont know what my GPA is gonna be this semester at all. i cant wait for my grades to be posted up. anyhow, this wasnt my main thing i was gonna blog about.

my brother, who is competing in Laos now for SEA Games in swimming. duh. is doing soooooo incredibly awesome. i am so super proud of him. bronze in the 200back, silver in the 100back. first big international meet other than world champs as part of the singapore national team. what more can you ask for. he s left with 200fly and the 4x100medley relay. hopefully he ll continue to do well and shine. yay!!!! seriously, all this good news has been the cause of my survival and sanity. i love my brother!!!

ok.. i m done for now. time to head back to writing my paper :)
GO Rainer GO!!!! :)

TO MY DEAR BROTHER, RAINER COMPETING IN HIS FIRST EVER SEA GAMES IN LAOS,
GOOD LUCK!!!!!

you never fail to amaze me in the pool. i am so proud to have you as my brother. you inspire me to be the best. i hope that you will shine at this games and have the time of your life. i wish i could be there to cheer you on but i m sure eve, mum, and our wonderful three aunts will be doing the glorious job for me. May God's grace fill your heart and that you ll bring glory to His mighty name! go kick some butts :)

the champ of our family, rainer ng :)

my wonderful and lovely family <3

there isnt one day which i dont miss my family

i spent thanksgiving in st louis, missouri at one of my team mate, erin's house. second thanksgiving with them and i am so thankful for them accomodating me yet again. i had so much fun and relax time. got to experience black friday shopping. wished my mum was here cause i m sure the both of us wouldve gone crazy together. we are awesome shoppers :)

OMFG!!!!! we just lost to LSU in overtime all thanks to Tejada!!! how did he miss that field goal!!!! that s his only job and he screws it up. way to go. i m so pissed right now.... aargh!!!! Tejada better not show his face on campus on monday. Good god. we need to get a new kicker fosho. LSU!!! how could we lose to them!!! we beat them last year when we were horrible and this year, we are a way better team and we lose to them. what is wrong with these football players? gosh, i m so extremely pissed right now. way to go Hogs! disappointment.

what more can i say about school than it being crazy. so much to do all the time. i ve definitely stared at the computer the most this semester than any year added up cause i m always doing work. boo. feel such a nerd. extreme mugger. but than, only 5 more weeks till this semester is over! woohoo... then it ll be goodbye to books for awhile. about 2 months. yay! before going into my final semester of senior year. almost done with college. bittersweet.

just got back from ashley's and liana's birthday dinner. great dinner at mimi's. stuffed. it was fun having a group of 15 ppl get together. i m def gonna miss swimmers' get together when i m done with college. makes me sad. this past 2 1/2 years spent here, in fayetteville, arkansas has been the best years ever in my life. i would never do anything to exchange what ive gone through. met amazing people, learnt a lot, being away from home, adapting to a new culture. priceless. i m gonna miss this big time when i leave. who wouldve have guessed that i would be missing this place. but i know i will. tomorrow is our last football game of the season against Troy. maybe my last game ever. boo. but Go Hogs! football has started to grown on me. too bad it wasnt sooner. but oh well.. better late than never.

let s see.. as always, tons to do this weekend in terms of school. need to finish writing a 12 page paper by thurs, outline of a paper for another class on monday, powerpoint for group project, and start research for paper. awesome. gotta try and fit all of that in somehow.

so my sister, eve, is done with O' levels!!!! woohoo... i m sure she s super excited/ happy. time to toss all books away and celebrate. she has been studying so much over the past however many months and she truly deserves a good break from school now. pretty sure she is partying up a storm now. haha.

gonna head to bed now for practice tomorrow morning. one last practice till the weekend! :)

long endless nights of staying up late, a battle with the pile of assignments and tests awaits me, the constant struggle with people around me, the mind breaking and body breaking workouts. every day is a new day, every week is a new week but why do i find myself having the same things happen to me over and over again. it s like a vicious cycle. i wear my emotions on my sleeves. i cant help it. it s just me. i dont want to share sometimes just let me be. who will understand what i m actually going through. no one else but me. maybe i m just loosing my mind. all that built up frustration is catching up on me. double standards, hate it. i m never good enough. it s never good enough to be just me. let me just shut down. it s enough. i just wanna let go and slip into a dream where fantasy awaits me. maybe i m just weird and i dont fit in. i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel. i m not only losing my mind but losing my sight. frustration furstration furstration. i dont know what to do now. all i know is it s never going to be the same. i just gotta accept i m never going to be good enough. let go. i live in my simple world and i m of a simple mind. hate me for all i care. i m sick of it. i only live for myself.

what a busy weekend it has been. 17 recruits coming into town. wow. it was simply overwhelming. my recruit was molly milborn from indiana. i hope she liked it here and had fun with me. haha. we had our very first football game of the season against the Georgia bulldogs. it was a great game eventhough we lost. we were def wayyyyy better this year. last year was just painful to watch. our first half of the game was great. it was really exciting. if only they could have finished the game on high but still i applaude the team. we did great out there against a ranked team last night. the game was really long and i actually stayed the entire game. dont remember the last time i actually did last year cause we just sucked soooo badly. it s a total new team this year. hopefully we ll see better games to come. next homegame is against auburn Oct 10th. GO HOGS GO!!!

today (sunday), just gonna be spending most of my day studying. hopefully. i m super tired just from the past 2 days. so i m praying i ll be able to get some work done today cause i need to. gonna be a crazy week in school this coming week. not like it hasnt been. this past week esp thurs was kinda insane too but i m glad it s over. the next two weeks are in fact gonna be worse than last week so good luck to me on that.

stuff i have to do this upcoming week:

mon: presentation and reading memo
tue: committe meeting
thurs: 2 quizes and 2 exams. FML!!!!
sat: 6hour long practice!!!

shoot me. we shall see how that goes for the week. need to head back to my books now. way to spend my sunday :(

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY BERN!!!

yet another birthday that the both of us are apart again :( i hope you ll have an awesome birthday in perth. miss you always.

here s a walk down memory lane starting with the latest...

Is it all
Or Nothing at all
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

the good old o-town: all or nothing

sometimes i wished i knew better than this.

summer is over. it s back to school today. start of a new year and it s my last and final year in college. i m a senior. woohoo. cant believe how fast time has gone by. i ve been studying in arkansas for 2 years already and i m onto my final year. i still clearly rmb the first day i got here. my sleeping times are still kinda screwed. i ve been getting up around 445-530am for the lsat 3 mornings regardless of what time i go to bed. i went to bed at 930 last night and got up at 445am. not too bad i guess. def better than saturday.



so i dont have class all day on monday till 530pm. and it s only one class. this is what my class schedule looks like for the rest of the semester:



monday: 530-820pm media and gender

tues/thurs:

930am- 1050am communication and gender

11am- 1220pm history of china

1230pm-150pm chinese culture and film

2pm- 320pm language and society of japan

wed/fri: NO CLASSES!!! (:



yeah that s how it looks. if you re wondering why i have these china/ chinese culture/ japanese classes, i m doing a minor in asian studies. hence all these unusual classes aside from my communication classes. hope it wouldnt be too hard or boring.



so swimming practices officially start on tues afternoon. but since i have class, i ll be swimming in the morning instead. and that also means i have to get up early every morning. no more sleep ins except for sundays ): oh well. but i m just excited to be starting school again. yay!

it was such a disappointment when u didnt turn up the last day. i was really hoping to get to talk to u or at least get your name or find out where i ve met/seen you before. guess that ll remain a mystery till who knows if our paths will ever cross again ): sometimes i frustrate myself for not going the extra mile. if only i wasnt in such a rush that night or just stopped for a moment to think, i m sure i wouldnt be left hanging in the air now. gosh.. this is so frustrating for me right now. bleah.

been home for a week already. the weather in singapore is seriously driving me crazy. it s so hot and humid. amazing how i ve yet to pass out under the heat.

havent updated in a month and i just wanted to blog at least once in june so here i am. i m back in singapore (: got back early this morning. been back on sing ground for about 15hours and i m lovin every moment of it even though i havent done much. haha. it s just been awesome being back with the family. i havent seen my brother yet though cause he s all checked in at westin hotel for asian youth games. meant to go down and visit him today but i would have to wear a mask just in case of the H1N1 and i dont really wanna wear a mask in the hotel. look quite noob. haha. but actually the main reason i didnt go down was, i ended up sleeping. suffering from a real bad case of jet lag.

i slept for 3 hours when i got back and got up at 645am.. and then i had breakfast, slacked around a lil and then i went to sleep for 4 hours. my sleeping pattern is def screwed up big time. oh wells. i m gonna head down to swimfast for a paddle later to loosen up. i m glad my lil sis is with me spending time. hopefully i havent annoyed the shit outta her. haha.

as much as i love being home, i miss my girlies in arkansas alrd. it s so diff not having them around. 10 months of seeing them every single day. go figure. but i ll be reunited with them before i know it so for now... it s home sweet home. gonna enjoy home with my family and friends. i m excited to see my bro race at AYG and do us proud. it s crazy walking ard and seeing his posters around at train stations and stuff. i havent seen them but that s what my mum and sis told me. poster boy. who would think. my dear brother. lol

anyhow, really hope he races well and do everyone proud. i love my family (:

two weeks of summer school down. 4 to go. gotta say that it s going by pretty fast. i m only left with one month of school and then i ll get to take a long break from studying. i was just looking back at things and i ve realised how much more i ve enjoyed studying ever since coming to the US. i remember back in the days of st nicks, i hated going to school so badly. talk about studying. it was worst cause i felt no matter how hard i studied, i was gonna fail anyway so what s the point. but since coming to the US, it has been entirely different. i realy enjoy studying and going to school. most of the time at least. cause i know that as long as i go to class, do the assignments and study, i can get good grades. if i work hard, my grades will reflect it. unlike sec school where even if i were to work my butt off.. i ll still not get good grades at all. which totally sucks. therefore, i m really grateful that i got this opportunity to be here and actually enjoy learning, meeting new people, and experiencing life.

the weather here has been pretty nice. no longer cold. nice and warm out even though the beginning of the week was rainy and cloudy but at least it wasnt cold.

i m waiting for the dining hall to be open at 11 so that i can go have brunch. really hungry even though i had a bagel already. maybe i should do some work now before brunch. i have a paper to write later which i really do not want to. sunday is lazy day. i dont wanna do anything at all.

oh.. and on a random note, i chopped my hair on thursday. it was just above the mid of my back before i chopped it and now it s slightly just below my ears. feels kinda weird losing all that hair but i love my new haircut.

YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!!!KRIS ALLEN

WON!!!!!!! YAY ARKANSAS!!!!!!!!!

i totally screamed my lungs out when the results were announced. i was going crazy. haha. yay arkansas!!! it was totally mind blowing/amazing! my votes definitely helped. yay kris!!!

american idol results tonight!!! i m so excited. i m pretty sure adam is gonna win but i m secretly hoping that kris will win. GO KRIS GO!!! be the dark horse and win!!!!!!!!